I know i have changed permanently and my wife has acknowledged the changes even before she left.
However a month after she left she said "that my changes were only on her superficial level" i.e they had not totally sunk in. It's my view that by the time they walk they probably don't want to accept the changes or subconsciously find the changes very suspicous as a ploy to get them back in a place they relly don't want to be.
So make the changes permanent - your wife will hopefully in time accept them and possibly want to recommit.
Feel for you with the kids. I'm in the same boat and it sucks big time. I can see mine every day if i like - just can't stand the pain of being with my W who i ca't stop loving not even a little bit.
Sorry you are here - dig in deep cos it probably will be along one - good luck
