W and kids back (from holiday home where OM is based) today after 2 weeks away (not spoken for 11 days). Dreaded seeing her and even the kids - any mention of OM by wife or kids physically hurts. Gives me majrt tightening of the chest and i can hardly breath.
So picked my boys up and W is her normal friendly self. I totally focussed all my energy on the kids and was super dad - W like normal is very keen for a conversation. I was polite but very distant. Not by choice.
The focus she gave me was incredible. I could feel her staring at me - she commented on my reduced weight (actually heavier - just more muscle) - commented on a new pendent. She completely analysed every detail - amazing. I feel the connection between us is still there.
She reached to hold the pendant and i literally flinched at her touch - I'm 6"1 and my wee W had me flinching - so much pain she has caused me - difficult to DB when you hurt so much you can't stand to interact or touch your wife.
Then it dawned on me - i want to talk and touch my wife but the pain she has caused me with OM stops me doingjust that. Just like she wants to want to try at our R (her words) but the pain the relationship has caused her stops her.
So the plan - spend as little time with her as possible (for my ow sanity) love my boys to bits - do what i'm doing - I'm not the same person who hurt/controlled her. Support her as much as possible.
Literally from the day i met her i have loved her - she told her parents after three days of meeting me that she had met the man she would marry. We had got very out or whack though
I have the optimistic idea this event is the best thing for our marriage - just need to restart the marriage some how.
Any comments from WAW of anything else i can do / not do ? I have got no anger or resentment from her - that dosen't seem like the other WAW's ??
She has always been super friendly and is always keen to interact which also doesent seem like other WAW's.
The day after she left we went shopping together !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
