thanks for telling me how much you love reading my posts...sometimes I think i am too negative but I am only being truthful about how I feel and how things are going...I see the mistakes I have made...don't know if LL would have come back if I had done them or not...guess I will never know that answer.
All I know is that I have to try to be the best Valentine that I can be and to take the lessons I have learned to heart.
Ugh...just found out my cousin used my SS# to get a phone with AT & T. And didn't pay it and it went to collections. Great now this is on my credit.
LL is freaking out...I have no idea why it is not HIS credit. Grrrrr.....
Hugs, Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Well, spoke with LL today for an entire hour....about this and that...cannot believe that I spoke to him that long.
Anyhow I asked him why he didn't call me by my 'pet' name and he said 'we don't call each other a lot of things anymore'...I know, I know, shouldn't have asked. I asked him if it hurt his feelings that I did not call him by his pet name or address him at all and he said yes.
Anyhow, I was reading this book called 'The Catholic Warrior" and it talked about forgiveness and "lack of forgiveness" being Satan's device to keep us bondage...I feel this is true.
I used to believe that we didn't really need to forgive but now I believe different.
It occured to me when talking to LL that I have not really forgiven him. I have to work on that...and I have decided that I really need to not get worked up over what he says, does or does not say or does not do...I just have to accept it...whatever it is. I have to work on me now...
As one of my best friends Lissett says: you gotta work on YOU, Vali...if LL comes back then YOU can make the decision to let him back in your life.
I must say that when talking to LL he seemed okay but it was like talking to an acquaintance---someone I didn't know well. ...I know not to take those things too personally and I wonder if my not addressing him by name or sweet endearment was a mistake...then I think about how hurt I have been by him. At some point I gotta forgive and let it go.
So, I am still a work in progress...hope to get to where I need to get to take back my life and be in charge of my own happiness...
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
