I know it's extremely hard, but developing some empathy for your wife would do you so much good. And respect - did you at some point have respect for her, or did you just "tolerate" her?
Good question....
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Trust me there was about a million things I wanted to say on text back there. I just erased it. I said this is not getting me closer to my goal.
good... getting warmer..........
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Nearly every post to you, this one included, is coming from the heart and with the intent to help you.
Very true,, you just dont seem to see the blessing it is to have someone post to you.. it takes time and effort... and everyones post are trying to help you open your eyes and get to your goals..........
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I can't pray anymore than I already am... can I?
Last time I checked there is no limit on prayer....
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phil, your expectations of your wife are way too high. they have to at be rock bottom. it will your life much easier. also, you don't know if she will ever come back, that is a defeatist attitude. trust in the Lord, pray for your wife
Let go and let GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I having been asking her to stop shutting me out of her life. Stop using the kids to communicate information about what she is intending to do. She would have the kids call me and totally avoid talking to me at all. I asked her. I said you wanted to be my friend through this but you never extend friendship. She is completely detached and doesn't even communicate. I have expressed this since the day she left.
Then one time she did come in to talk to me and I ignored her because I didn't know what dark truly was. I was walking away shutting the door not looking like a lost puppy seeking her affection and attention. She got pissed about that. She said you want me to talk to you and I'm talking to you but you will not even look at me.
Then I do keep telling her to stop shutting me out of her life. She does it anyway.
Then she gets back on these little tidbits. Would text me in the evening. Ask me little quesions during the day. Now I answer them all, but I'm not jumping on it right away. Then I leave her alone again. Like she wants to see how bad I am there waiting for her.
However the shoe is not worn on the other foot. If I attempt to communicate with her. She doesn't get back in a timely manner if she even gets back at all. When she wants to communicate with me then she goes ape nuts and starts the phone marathon.
Maybe she just didn't have anything she wanted to ask me because she is completely dead to me. I pushed her away to far.
?
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Then just now I had an epiphany.
There is nothing I can do to help her anymore. But there is. I can stop making it worse.
You know I looked over at her and I said she isn't my wife. She is someone else. I don't love the person she is now. I loved the woman before this new person came before the aliens came and go her. Is she really different?
yes she is really different she is lost some and you frankly are too ... who are you really? Maybe she is completely bonkers... but you focusing on her bad behavior so much isnt helping............
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I put those kitchen cabinents in. I I I I II I I I I I II IIII I I I I II I. I installed my own faucet. I did it. I went to work full time. I went to school full time. I invented the flux capacitor. No I didn't do that.
What did she accomplish?
You seem to really have zero respect for her...... the whole laundry thing has me confused now... do you do for her out of genuine love or to kiss her a** or because in you mind she is just to stupid to do it herself...
and did you ever think hoosiermania is it? PHIL!!!!!! stay with me here did you ever think it was a blessing his computer was acting up?
Maybe GOD,, wanted you to read it that may times so it would sink in.
I will continue to pray for you but know this you are not accepting the blessings you are getting.. you are getting so much good advice and then instead of accepting it as their point of view you get defensive.. some posters would kill for this kind of advice in their thread. And here you have it right in front of you... I dont get it....when are you going to stop focusing on all her faults and focus on you and your kids?
I am not attacking.. it just saddens me that you cant see your blessings.... in my opinion and you dont have to listen or attack me or even give it any thought that is the beauty of this forum...
YOU need to really pray and get real humble... so you can be the Man God calls you to be.... You are suppossed to give w/o expecting anything in return from your heart.
When you really do this you will be a happy Man whether she comes back or not and in the end your kids will benefit from it..... HUMBLE~ not a doormat... not a DAM... I dont even know what that is.... not an a** kisser But humble and loving in a way that makes a real Woman want to go to the ends of the Earth just for you....
Humble, vulnerable and strong with respect....
When your knees are sore cause you have been truly humbly praying for your salvation and hers and your precious children.
Not for her to come back , not for her to be nice to you .. but for her and you and your kids to be genuinely happy... then you will have understood all I am trying to say to you.
All my best to you.. and God bless your little ones.... I hope God can soften your heart and make you see what he has already placed at your feet. You may be going thru a living hell...
I HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT... but there are still blessings every day to be thankful for... think about that..... Please...
I will check on you and see if you are going to make efforts to really change or if you are still complaining about her soon... Please surprise me.... Not for me but for you PHIL~
