Who the heck am I kidding, things changed after ML on the 4th, W a day after that went dark and has been that way since. Her telling me that she wanted me to reach out more was a farse IMO if that was what she truly wanted I would think she would be more receiptive. I think the 4th was to be goodbye sex and it screwed with her mind, hell it screwed with mine, she might have felt something she wasn't expecting or didn't want to ever feel again. She is back to treating me exactly like she did before she moved out, I am invisible. So I ask myself, go dark stay dark or continue to get the door slammed shut in my face hum....
I'm not asking for the world here but a bone would be nice even though I know it won't get thrown, something, anything my mind is getting tired of being played with I believe it was easier dealing with the out right anger than this. Kinda reminds me of a prisoner on death row, walking that walk sitting in the chair and then all of a sudden the phone rings and you get a stay, then it's back to the cell. Where the hell is the key I need to let myself out...
Was going to contact W tonight but something in my pea brain says no that wouldn't be a good thing, having trouble swallowing the attitude. What are you waiting for you have seen the changes you acknowledge the changes but still not sure of them okay more work is needed I like myself now why don't you...
Okay dummy you yourself have said it took years to get here it ain't gonna happen anytime soon yes I know that she knows that, but there comes a point when a decision needs to be made to act or not act limbo is a dance not a life to live...
Hey DAM, you are beginning to backslide on your self what gives??? ML really screwed with you didn't it, yeah it did I saw her eyes they didn't lie, yet the opposite is happening it wasn't suppose to go that direction...
Brian you have to let go, get back to where you were before the 4th put your mind at ease you can't change it you know that are you going to allow 1 night to mess up what has taken months to achieve is 1 night worth all of that...
You were moving forward before that night, you were being the you that you wanted to be that is why she came...
Thanks for lettin me rant and rave it helped to a point...
