Fig, all she had to say was "thanks but I can't make it" and I would have said "no problem, let me know any time you might like to go" and that would be that, I didn't even include a dinner invitation so how frightening could singing a few hymns together be! I think women probably fantasize about all the possible ways it could go wrong when they say "no thanks". Undoubtedly, there are jerks out there but I'm a nice guy, I wouldn't have pushed it any further. So now, I guess when I see her I will just say "good morning" and move on, I wouldn't feel comfortable saying much more thanks to this strange treatment, I sure won't be dropping by to chat anymore! Too bad, I'm open for more friends, but at this point, she won't be one of them! I'm thinking of having some fun with this new power I have over women. I'll start asking out women from church and see how fast they become Jehovah Witnesses! I'll hit on vegetarian women and watch how quickly Burger King fills up. The world is my oyster on this one, who knows how far it could go! A new reality TV series maybe?
Hmm, come to think of it, I not only turned my W off M I turned her off men. She dumped me for a woman. I wonder if I can also turn water into wine or any really good stuff like that? Gotta go, I'm gonna give it a try! I'll let ya know how it turns out. Stay tuned.
For my next miracle I'm gonna bring down the price of gas! OK, now it's getting unbelievable, right? I had you guys with the wine thing though, didn't I? I gotta learn when enough is enough.
Wii, I had dinner with a bunch of the players from a coed softball team I am on last night. One of the women was telling me about her Orthodox Jewish husband who she divorced 4 years ago. He just filed to not have to pay his child support anymore after 4 years. His reasoning, he is now with a man and his new companion doesnt make any money and he has to support them both......
Before you ask, no he is not Orthodox anymore, I believe he went out of faith...........
My point in that story is that she told me that for 2 years she questioned whether his choice had anything to do with her or not. She didn't figure that out really, she just got to a point where she didn't give a crap anymore what his reasoning was or what caused it. She said one night she was saying her prayers (as the orthodox Jews do a lot) and she had this epiphany. She suddenly became overwhelmingly clear that we each make our choices and there is no one to blame for those choices but ourselves. She told me that God spoke to her that night and told her to let it go and stop questioning herself.
Believe me I am not telling you this in questioning whether you have done this for yourself. More because it reminded me a lot of your sitch and a lot of the conversations we used to have in the infidelity forum. I believe we all sometimes think we are alone in our predicament, but we aren't, there are always others who share our experiences.
Thanks Ian, I have met some incredible people with stories re divorce and hard luck that they've shared with me because they want to help me. It's quite touching to see people sharing their most hurtful experiences in the hopes of helping me through mine. It can certainly be a difficult thing to deal with the choices our S's made about their sexuality but, honestly, I don't believe my W "changed" because of me (I use the "I not only turned her off M, I turned her off men" line cuz it's a good line!). I remember my Coffee Buddy saying "you must be in so much pain, this must be so much worse for you than if it was another man" and I said "I don't know whether it is or not, the thought of another man having happy time with my W really doesn't do much for me either! I don't judge her sexuality, that's a choice she has to live with. What I look at is the fact that she's saying she's not committed to our R, and that is what is important". I have no idea what my W's sexual orientation is and I don't think she really knows either, she was just a confused, unhappy person who found herself a mommy figure who would look after her every need. I told her, in a rare moment of rage, "you two are a pair of really sick bitches" referring to the dynamics of their R, not the sexuality aspect. Let's face it, this is a woman who said "we know we're co-dependent, so what!" What can you say after that? Thanks for your encouragement Ian. Hey, is there a gas station near you where I could maybe lower the price of gas for an hour or so, just for you? Let me know
If I recall, the night I called W and her gf a "pair of sick bitches" I also may have mentioned that I'd tear her gf's heart out and stuff it down her f'ing throat if I ever saw her face again! I lied, of course, I never would have done that, I would have put it in the recycle bin. My lawyer also said that my comment may not have been the brightest thing I'd ever said. WTH does he know.
