ok everyone- my anniversary is monday- 7 yrs..... i had brought it up to him in an email last week that had some other stuff in it....i had said: so our anny is coming up and i wanted to know if you wanted to get together for lunch or something before or after it (bc i was going to be gone on the actual day and now im not)...now we had our great night the other night and he never brought it up..neither did I.... so what do I do? card? gift? bring it up? it doesnt have to be anything major and i am ok with nothing too- its a little sad but the progress we have had is worth it----soooooo???? ideas?
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I just read through your posts....you had this whole DB thing figured out from the get go.
-You have your act together -You are in control of your emotions -You managed to get your police officer husband to open up to you and just validated -You have made changes in you -Your confidence and peace just come thorugh in your posts
My only advice to you is just continue to play it cool, be yourself, have fun. Your H wants to come back....he just wants to figure himself out first so he doesn't hurt you anymore...he sounds like a good man who is human.
As far as your anniversary, I would get him something low key (something to do with one of his hobbies and is not mushy). I would also invite him over for dinner or BBQ (even less pressure). Make it a fun evening. I think you should do something because it is saying, you still value your M despite all he has apologized for.
You are in a much better emotional position than I was in my sitch for my anniversary. Mine was 2 days before we were going to sell our home and sep. I still made dinner reservations. She said I don't want to go out and celebrate. I said, who said anything about celebrating, I figured we could go out and get a break from all this packing and the kids and have a nice meal. Initially she said no, I said that's fine I can go myself...I'm getting a good meal. She went and we had a good time. I think you are in a much better position...particularly since he recently asked you out to dinner and youhad that quality hot tub time.....oh I wished I had one of those.
Have a great weekend! You are doing fantastic!
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
A small gift, and non-sappy, NOT: "Let's make everything work," or "I don't want you to feel guilty, but..." type of card.
If he shows up you can give them to him. Do not expect him to get you anything. Do not be dissappointed if he doesn't.
Anniversary...you could always have a little something something to slip into if a little something something seems to be happening a little later later.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 07/18/0808:15 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Wow- thanks for this TD! I REALLY needed a boost today! i will ask him out to dinner or to come over- that will be nice.....I will get him something related to cycling...and a nice card. when do i do this? he is away this weekend but left me a very nice message yesterday saying he had a nice dinner with me the other night...
I hope he still wants to come back- his actions are showing me he does but i let my fear get in the way and then i get scared.
you have done a tremendous job DB'ing too...it aint easy but it's how life should be
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
i think i will call him tomorrow to see how is race went (swimming event) then ask about monday night....that way he has time to think about it...
TD- i like what you said about my H just being human- thats how i felt since day one...he is a wonderful guy- just a bit lost...seems like he is finding himself
have a great weekend everyone- thanks UD too- call it is- i agree!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
