So glad you stopped by to take over my thread while I was working. I think you're right. For every bad moment in our lives there's always something we can look back at and wish we could change. Only because we know now how it turned out. I wish I hadn't been so darned devastated. Other things too, but you can never go back.
BH, listen, these guys all say the same thing. "The kids will be fine." Thing is, they're never quite the same. Their innocence is gone. Now this is where we come in. We have to decide what our priorities are when something like a D happens to our family. Who is most important to us? Who do we want to protect? It has to be them-the kids. Because for the most part our X's are in la-la land worried only about their own happiness.
FL,
To tell you the truth, my name here is because of my X. His last words to me before moving out were "I need to be happy". Once I picked myself up, I decided that I did too. So, I named myself Happy Tomorrow here on these boards. I surely knew I wasn't yet. Once the D happened, I renamed myself.
I think I forced myself into being happy. I decided that 1) the boys needed me to be, and 2) so did I. Happiness is a state of mind. I willed it to myself and gave mtyself the greatest gift.
My X still hasn't found that happy place he left his family for. I know that for a fact after our convo the other day. He thinks happiness is having lots of money. If I didn't know what a jerk he is, I'd probably feel sorry for him.
Your W seens to be very similar. She's looking for that magic potion, magic person, magic something that will bring her what she's craving. She's down on everyone because they didn't give her that. To me, the magic something is having healthy, happy, well adjusted children and being the same myself.
