Until they arrive you have other reading to do. My guess is you didn't read those other urls I sent you or you would have at least asked one question from ONE of the articles...you hadn't said a word. That usually means the person didn't read the material. lol
that's a good URL you just gave me, except for now, she isn't going to stop seeing him or give me a 24 hour "where i am going" schedule. we just split or cell phone family plan because i was "babysitting" the phone bill. but thank you I will bookmark it for future reference should I get to that point.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
i watched the entire movie.....incredible.....tear jerking.....how her husband was too hard on the daughter and michelle just called to say good night and he ended up getting her flowers and taking her out ? holy sh!t. i'm glad i bought DR. can't wait til it gets here.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
There was also a section in that film about friends NOT being very helpful becuase they just encourage you to give up...I would put yoru wife's sister in that category. You may have noticed your pastor's approach is much more in line with this professional marriage counsellor.
Don't listen to family and friends who tell you to give up...they are just hurting your marriage...SOME CLOWN told your WIFE to give up...who do you think that was? lol
that's a good URL you just gave me, except for now, she isn't going to stop seeing him or give me a 24 hour "where i am going" schedule. we just split or cell phone family plan because i was "babysitting" the phone bill. but thank you I will bookmark it for future reference should I get to that point.
Yup, but it did identify affairs as an addiction along with gambling,drugs, and alcohol...you were wondering about that.
Next time someone tells you to give up, including her sister, just tell them if your wife started drinking or gambling or using drugs you woudl'nt give up on her, she's obviously ill and scared and confused...its the SAME thing, its just something a lot more destructive than alcohol.
Affairs are a cancer to a marriage, as is any addiction. It destroyes families, homes, and relationships...its a tragedy that people resort to these tactics when there IS good marriage counselling out there like Michele Davis...why on earth can't your wife and all these other confused people go to HER?
Anyways, there is hope, I hope she helped you realize that..i find that film quite inspiring.
My personal take on this... maybe I'm wrong... but Buster I get the impression that you are kind of frantic about the whole situaiton and it seems to me you are bouncing off the walls in uncertainty and direction.
I think your very best bet is to take a break from dealing with W for a little while, maybe even go a little dark. And in the meantime focus on learning all you can about DBing. Read the information on this site, read the books... even go tonight to a Barnes and Nobles or Borders and "camp out" in the relationship section of the store and just READ (Michelle's books are there). Jot down concepts and ideas that are helpful for you. All of this will help give you a direction and a better sense of what to do.
Once you have this it should help you feel more comfortable and confident in DBing and interacting with your wife.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
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