Well, pretty sure he is going to be done after last night.

My best friend emailed me and felt awful, and reading her words I was sobbing because this is not her fault. She was trying to help. I'm so tired of being tired. Tired of focussing on this every minute of every day.

I want just one day without crying.

So I lost it last night. Called him around midnight, woke him up, and confessed that I figured out his email password and that he should change it. I apologized and said I was desparate and trying to find a reason (ie another woman) for all of this, and that I HATED the person this situation was turning me into.

I told him I hoped he could forgive me, and that in 12 years I have NEVER lied or deceived him once, and I wasn't about to start now. I could've kept it to myself, and he'd never have known. But I know.

So I confessed, sobbed, did everything anti DB, and slept for crap. It's been a really lovely day (not).

He's coming to visit the girls tonight. I have no idea what to expect.

Chris

__________
Me:39
H:39
D:8
D:4
M:9 (T 13)
Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08,
Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09
Still doing GREAT a year later!!!