craig, My expectations are that she isn't coming back. My expectaions are that it is over. She said it was over, she meant it was over.
I can't pray anymore than I already am... can I?
I'm sick of crying over her. I deserve better than this. No one and I mean no one should make there spouse feel this way.
Honestly I'm going through hell. I don't think she is. I think she has made her self so numb through it she isn't feeling anything.
Expectations. I don't have any. I believe I let it go. I gave it to the Lord. I have givin her to the Lord.
Brings to a triggered memory. While she was still in WAW at home stage. I was working on the kitchen installing cabinents. I remembered a memory of me trying to hit her. She kept blocking them. I was drinking. I came home and she got in my face, and I just had about enough. I was swinging at her and determined to get a crack in. I was screaming back at her. Please just stfu. Please just stfu. I didn't do anything wrong.
When I felt satisfied enough I quit. I never did get that shot in. Anyway I was installing those cabinents remembered it. I lost it. I was weeping I mean weeping on the kitchen floor. Because I lost control.
Guess what. She finally stfu. Be careful what you ask for.
Brings me to another story off topic. One of her girl friends from high wanted his wife to have a three way with someone. My wife asked me if I ever wanted to have a three way. I said have you lost your mind. Why do you bring this up? She said oh my digusting friends husband told his wife that, and I wondered if you thought about digusting stuff like that too. I said No, never. You are more than I can handle. Then she was telling me about how this wife always plays dress up for him. He likes the Amish outfit the best. I said would you please not tell me these things. I don't care to know about your friends sexaul excapades. When you tell me these things I pretty much loose all respect for these people and can't generally look at them with a straight face anymore.
