I can only describe my scenario and I have to say I felt pretty blah afterward in the beginning too. It was completely different. It was sex not ml. He said, in one of our 3 mc sessions, that he felt guilty. The mc guy said "is it wrong to have relations with your wife". And my H's response was he felt he was being disrespectful to me by having sex with me when he was going to up and leave afterward.
So that's what was supposedly going thru my H's thread at the time.
As for there being no other. That says a lot to me. That tells me that he does honor his vows... I think men, well at least mine, don't really get what an EA is. I told my H early on that it is not right that he share his inner most feelings and thoughts with another woman. That those thoughts are the ones that he should be sharing with me. He just didn't get it. He thought as long as he didn't step over the line with kissing, or hand holding or sex that it was perfectly okay. In a later conversation (when we were getting along better communicatively) I told him it was like she replaced me. I used to be the person he would turn to with all of his successes and his not so much successes... I was the person he would share his dreams of the future with and now he shut me out and shared with her instead. I think that was when he was finally able to see that he was communicating with her in an inappropriate way. Now has he stopped doing that? Sharing with her I mean? Supposedly he has but I have no way of knowing for sure.
How can you open the lines of communication with your H?
I started out with heavy duty affirmation..... I was almost overboard with it but I think that's what started us down a better road... and what a LONG road it is.
