WAW#10 Feather Ruffle

[sgctxok]

looks like somebody figgied.

[hoosiermama]

looks like somebody figgied.

Oh Yeah~!

[hoosiermama]

Damn good post hoosiermama.
All of them.



Well, Phil...since you seem to like square one so much I reckon you can just stand there for as long as you want to.


See ya.

Thanks~! ...and Ditto.

[hoosiermama]

I'm sorry you read my post as mean-spirited and angry. I am neither. Nor am I projecting or attempting to cause harm. Quite the opposite; I was hoping to break through some of your denial--foolish, I know. You're not ready yet.

Whenever one is in a crisis, those demons you "buried" come back. You have to keep wrestling with them. It gets easier if you do it with your whole heart. We all have demons, Phil. There's no "rising above that level" because not one of us is better than another, and usually those who believe they are are the ones who have ceased to grow.

You don't need much assistance at "building yourself up," Phil. You can do that quite well on your own. Many of us are offering you a different kind of support, and someday you might be ready to understand that.

Our home is often a metaphor for ourselves--adding on, renovating, cleaning, fixing, repairing. Is that true for you? "You are never done with home improvements...."

You have begun looking inward. This is true. And it's appropriate to pat yourself on the back for that. It isn't easy, it isn't pretty. But you've got to keep going deeper. If you don't, all that you have done so far is wasted effort, and worse--you will think you're done when you've just begun, and it didn't "work" and you turn your back on any further introspection.

I don't know--are you pointing fingers or are you venting? You're the only one who really knows. To most of us, it very much appears to be pointing fingers. Prove us wrong and tell us how you've contributed to the problems you're having.

Mornings are rough. Mornings generally suck. Even without the dreams. Mornings are when you wake up and realize yet again what your life is like, what pain you're going through. It's just another day to hurt. I understand. I have a suggestion; talk with your priest about how to pray Morning Prayer from the breviary. It's the Church's prayer; the entire Church is praying with you, and there's some real peace in that. There's also some real peace in making that part of your routine, doing repetitive and meditative prayer, praying with the Psalms. The happy ones, and the ones that pray "Smite my enemies, let the dogs tear them apart, and by the way why have you abandoned me O Lord?" When you don't have the words to express just how awful it is, the Psalms can help. Truly, I suggest obtaining a breviary and learning how to use it, maybe just for morning or evening prayer. Your priest can show you how because the sequence can be a little confusing; even doing it "incorrectly" is perfectly fine but you seem like a guy who likes to cross his T's and dot his I's. It's not difficult; it's very Catholic; it will help you feel part of something larger.

Counseling--absolutely I'm doing it. Off and on much of my life. I have a lot to learn, a lot of brokenness to overcome and I'm trying really hard to understand how not to make the same mistakes I've made in the past. I don't know where I'd be without it. I believe that real strength lies in knowing when you can't stand up without someone to lean on, and finding that someone to prop yourself up until you can stand alone again. We're all there at some point.

So I ask you again--is what you're doing working for you, getting you what you want? You can rail against your life, or you can adjust and find a different way that just might work better. Usually that kind of thing includes moments that don't feel good, just when you're already feeling lousy. But when that's happening, God's dropping a little gift in your lap; if you pick it up and unwrap it, it's exactly what you needed. God will not be outdone in generosity.

[LostPhil]

The high five and the money dance. Which is what I asked not to be done on my thread. Pat each other on the back. Sayings things in circles and then agreeing with one another. I think the demons here on the board are worse then my situation. Trying to keep up with all the nonsense is really mind boggling.

One thing has become upbundantly clear to me. You are all nuts!

Is what I'm doing working for me? Yes, I'm getting better everyday. I'm realising even though I love my wife and will never stop loving her, I don't need her. Yes I want her. The real question is: Is what you are doing working for you? Have you reconciled?

I don't need anymore of her torture. I don't need anymore of her controlling, b|tching, or poor a$$ behavior. I simply do not care for it, and it is not affecting me.

She is gone. She may never come back. That is something I will have to accept. I'm starting to think I'm better off without her.

Now this next paragraph is irrelavant, but I hope it helps you.
Figgied didn't need to put in the post to cause confusion. If you want to talk to someone about there figgy problem do it elsewhere it was anonying enough the fact that they figgied in the first place.

As a computer tech I think figgy is mad click disease. It gets you users in lots of trouble sometimes. Take your time, read, research. Fix your own computer. Don't break it. Let the page try to load before you hit submit again and again. If you are afraid of losing what you wrote. Copy it to the clip board. Check to see if it posted. If it didn't then repaste it and submit again.

Take your time, read. LostPhils posts. You people have in the innate ability to follow simple directions.

Do not high five each other on LostPhils thread. LostPhil asked this in his first threads. I don't care for your click. This should not be a click. LostPhil needs to work on making Phil happy. LostPhil doesn't need to go backwards. Phil always goes forwards.

I'm moving forward. I'm going to walk with the Lord. I only wish I could be like Enoch.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Well wasn't that just insightful. What are you implying that comment is to vague? Sounds like a riddle...

It is insightful. It wasn't a riddle. It is in response to this:

What I'm saying is Amy. I think I have addressed these demons.

I know I have addressed my demons.

I suggested that you and I have a communication problem.

Phil,

Honestly. Would you prefer I didn't post to you?

[LostPhil]

Jack,

Why didn't you just say that. You took one comment out of context for something I completely didn't even know what you were talking about.

Then Jack, I know I have addressed those demons.

Thinking and knowing are literal terms. If you think you know then you know. If you know you don't have to think. However you already thought you knew it.

Jack I prefer that you do post to me. I wish that you were so obtuse all the time. Your comment was refined and directed at one thought. I didn't know what thinking moment you were addressing.

Last night I must have made her mad again because after five wasn't early enought for me to pick up the kids. Really I don't know what she expects from me.

The only time she talks to me is when she wants a favor or it has something to do with watching the kids, picking up the kids, or whatever.

I mean the other day she called me to tell me 15 minutes before her shift was up that she was going to pick up the kids.

It's all crazy. She's in the super fog. I think she keeps going deeper. Remember I was talking and her and I at least had those evenings where we would text to each other. Those are all done and gone now.

Before she moved out. Her and I would at least talk to one another about nothing sometimes. Now nothing. She keeps going further and further away.

Then every once in ahwhile she will have a moment where she gets close.

Remember all those days I said she would come in and expect me to kiss her on the cheek. Those are gone.

LostPhil is going to have a rough weekend. School work, housework. She is off both days. How many times is she going to mess with me showing up at the house? What night is she going to want to go out? Will she come to Church this Sunday?

I don't know how good this dark process is....

She needs to miss me... Well I hope she misses me soon.

[craig54]

Phil, stop worrying about what she is doing.you are setting yourself to fail by constantly worrying about her. The fact that she is not giving you a kiss and contact is part of this long process. look, i have not had a kiss in 10 months. yea, i miss it. but it is what it is. try and have a great weekend.

[LostPhil]

Ok here is the problem.

I have been communicating with her that I don't like how she completely shut me out of her life.

Then when she tries to communicate with me. I take the dark stradegy. I get back eventually.

The last two days she texted me in the morning asking obscure questions and it ticked me off because she just doesn't know when to quit. She wants me out of her life. I leave her alone. She says I need to get better. I don't act like an idiot around her or react to her madness.

Now today she hasn't tried communicating with me and I'm just upset that she hasn't.

Am I more upset when she does? Am I more upset when she doesn't?

Damn if you do, Dam if you don't...

I'm trying to heal and accept the fact that she obviously isn't going to come home. Why does she throw a line out with something obscure. Can you bring me a chair? How many girls are on daughters team? Day before those. Sorry I have my ringer off. Hi.

She needs to change. She needs to realise I wasn't making her unhappy. She needs to realise I'm not her enemy. I'm her life long partner, well that is what I atleast promissed.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Thinking and knowing are literal terms. If you think you know then you know. If you know you don't have to think. However you already thought you knew it.

That is arguable. I see your point, I would rather not get lost in a debate over something as silly as semantics.

She needs to realise I wasn't making her unhappy.

That is true.
Switch the pronouns and it is true as well.

Help me out here:

I have been communicating with her that I don't like how she completely shut me out of her life.

Then when she tries to communicate with me. I take the dark stradegy. I get back eventually.

Clarify please, she goes dark you tell her you don't like it; but when she reaches out you go dark?

That is how I read it, and just making sure that is what you meant.