Now I feel Gump-a-licious and ready to respond to your timely post.
The morning spouse talked about his misery, I felt such sorrow for his pain. My passive BS meter asked what woman is feeding you those lines."
"Recently he's said we can have nothing that implies we're a couple, since it confuses the children. Not even jointly giving an 18th birthday gift to our son. My BS meter says he's afraid of anything that implies a couple."
I would say he is still blaming you for all his problems. Honestly I am pretty sure he came up with all that.. on his own.
And it feels good to realize it's his issue, not mine.
"The bank assured me a glitch in the system had prevented me from logging in.
I have to admit, the thought passed through my mind of passive/aggressive harrassment. However, I figured assume the best, work in a positive manner and let it go."
That was a smart and DB move. Think about it.. no fighting.. no drama.
Yep yep.. nothing like letting some time pass to allow a calmer thought process.
"It's odd. The concept of detachment was agonizingly painful. The reality of detachment is a dull thud. I start to get riled up, then remember.. he's not worth the effort."
I might say.. you are looking back and making smarter choices. Pain tends to linger when you are in it.. as it starts to heal.. you may feel numb. Eventually the pain fades away.. you can still focus on it and remember what it was like. Use those feelings as a guideline. This sounds much better than the "old" Gypsy.
My therapist described how people can be in so much pain and so desperate to relieve it that they make bad choices just to feel relief. Call spouse earlier this week was an example of that for me.
"This website has become my social life. I figure that's not good."
Its a toss up. Lot of good people here. Are there more effective outlets for interaction.. sure. Use them when you are ready. If you enjoy being here.. by all means.. post away. Just don't let it get bigger than you. I know you have some "outside" friends.. baby steps. You will get there.
Having balance is a beautiful thing, something I'm learning to embrace... *hugs*
"I told my friend I've forgotten how to have fun. I can do things for other people, enjoy activities that other folks invite me to but I can't seem to initiate anything."
I had a problem with this. Most likely you have some issues with generating some fun.. simply because you still might be a little "down". It takes a while.. to get back into it. It will come to you.
That's good to hear. Currently helping with the 600 costumes for the show, even doing some tailoring. Some of these have been in Broadway shows so it's a bit intimidating. The first rule in theatre, make alterations easy to take out!
"I moved to this area because I couldn't handle the yeah rah rah of Newcomers... Now I feel lonely that not all my buddies post to me. And yet I'm pulling away in a way."
I kinda thrive in the drama. It can get confusing. I don't really think you pulled away.. you just have to give them time to adjust. Heck.. I don't even check on Kalni as much anymore. I still have not gotten used to the move. Plus.. sometimes the drama calls my name.
The drama and activity kept me there. The need to accept brought me here. It's all a growing experience.. no?
I've pondered switching to 'Surviving the Big D' but the folks there party too hard!
(Add on top of that.. I have been super busy at home.)
That's a very good thing.. probably the best.
Sometimes.. we let the ones we love the most flounder.. cause we expect them to know.
Awwwwwwwwwww....
"I've been marching forward"
Good for you.. I could not hope.. for anything better.
Thank you!
"I'm making arrangements for the two women I became friends with at a retreat to come to my house in August and watch some chick flicks they say would be great for me."
Making some plans.. Thats good.. A relaxing time will give you something to look forward to.
Yes.. doing things that are different is good. I started to worry about the kids reacting to 'strangers' in the house, but I got over it.
"I'm still a jumping bean fixer.. but I'm working on it!"
Don't ever stop being a fixer.. just apply yourself when you get the most results.
Compulsive, excessive fixing at the cost of what I need to do is a bad thing. Helping, caring, mindful of other's boundaries (well, I'm still working on that one) is a good thing.
"Where am I.. pumping gas in a suburbia.. in a place we moved to as newlyweds.. with my children.. which is the greatest gift of all."
So who is winning here? You have done all the stuff people dream of. Had a family.. a home.. a nice car.. a dog. Quite simply.. he is doing it all over again. The sad part about it is.. the odds say.. he will end up right were he stared. Think about it.. 50% of M's fail. 75% of those that remarry fail. Roughly. The one thing I would want to take away from a failed marriage.. is how do I do it right the second time. If I ever walk in your shoes.. I am going to make dam* sure I get it right the next time.
Here here. I married vowing to love him however he changed in our lifetime. He's demanding a change which ends my vow. Life goes on.
"You must have a really good day planned to sh*t on yourself so early."
Are you related to me? That sounds like something I would say. That guy is alright! Is he married.. I know some single.. or soon to be single women. They might have a interest.
My brother is pretty neat but not on the market.
The Hospital thing sounds great. Do things for you. Get yourself "fixed" up.
I'm looking forward to starting once all the paperwork is in place. We'll see how neat it is.
I think you are doing "Well". What more could I ask for. This will get easier.
Thank you oh giver of time and caring. I do appreciate your friendship and words of encouragement and perceptions.
