Hope4us struggle, part 7

[Hope4us]

Well, the reaction to the flowers could have been better, but could have been a whole lot worse.

She was walking into the kitchen when I came in the door with them and she said "oh..those are pretty". I got some iris' and some other kind of purple thing and some purple looking weed like thing. They are pretty.

So I thought, that's not as good as I was hoping, but about a minute later she asked me if I wanted to go to the grocery store with her! Wow. I know it might not seem like much, but it's another step. And we had a good time shopping. Joking around, laughing...at one point she said something about needing some of those pledge wipes thingies as ours had dried out and I replied "I hate it when that happens" and she laughed at the sexual innuendo of it all. So another good thing. Some sexual flirting last weekend and laughing at a sexual joke tonight!

And one other thing. She IM'd me this afternoon at work and told me she was going to make a breakfast casserole to take into work tomorrow and did I want her to make one for me to take in also?

Wow, double wow. I told her that would be really nice and I'm sure my guys (and myself) would really appreciate it!

So....pretty darn good night in the H4U household...except that I got stung by a bee while we were loading the groceries in the car. Little sucker. I just have a thing with stinging insects. This one makes the 67th time I've been stung. Good thing I'm not allergic or I'd have been dead a long time ago. Like that one time when I was hunting with my dad and sat down on a log that had a yellow jacket's nest in it. Got it 27 times that time alone!

I'll check back in the morning. And WDID, the card just said "Just thinking about you" (but she hasn't opened the card yet):>)

[whatdidido]

Loving actions beget loving feelings. You are proving that. I'm glad your day ended so well!

[Hope4us]

Thanks WDID. If loving actions beget loving feelings, I think we're both on the way. She's been doing more and more loving things towards me so that's encouraging.

I surmise that she's in the place you are that I read on your thread, that if she commits to our marriage she's giving up what she thinks she "could" have with OM, even though I truly believe the affair is over. I just feel like she's afraid if she tells me she wants to make the marriage work that things will return to where they were before, even though I didn't know anything was wrong. Now that I know her concerns/complaints, I'm ready to move forward so that we're BOTH happy, I just don't think she's there yet.

And I guess that's why I just have to remain consistent and stay patient. Give her more TIME. But I'm not going to wait forever.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

But I'm not going to wait forever.

Just curious -- when was the last time you told her that?

Puppy

[Hope4us]

It's been a while Pup. Probably the last time I told her if she didn't end it with OM, I was filing for divorce.

I hear what you're saying, she needs to know that, but the way things are going, I'm not going to press things right now.

Still sticking with my Oct internal deadline. She's been sending me emails from work already this morning, so it continues to improve. And I can give it more time.

But....not waiting forever....

[Hope4us]

Thought I'd post an update before heading home soon (I think). W started emailing me first thing this morning. This is happening more and more. Just stuff. Stuff couples share. And it feels good.

I had a pretty busy day. Had planned on golfing this afternoon (GAL stuff) but some chit hit the fan at work (hence heading home soon I think) so I IM'd W and told her I wasn't golfing because of the issues and I'd be home sometime, not sure when. She IM'd back, "okay, sorry about the issues"! Wow, I thought for sure I'd just get an "ok", but she's actually showing some compassion here? Another good sign. We traded a couple more IM's about her boss and what a butt he is and then I ended the conversation.

So now my expectations are going up again......Patience, patience, patience.....

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Good stuff!!!

[whatdidido]

Yep. Careful with those expectations, that's when the anger and questioning get the best of you. Patience! We can do this!

[Hope4us]

Thanks Pup, WDID.

Yes, the expectations are where my anger comes from. It seems we're headed in the right direction and W is more engaging everyday, but now that that is the case, I just want to shake her and say, OK, you F'd up. Let's work on both of our issues and fix this!

but I know it doesn't work that way.

[whatdidido]

You are right. Smart man. Keep it going.