this is good. men are fixers and as such if he is typical it is extremely difficult when things are not "fixed". Now you will be thinking whats Dave on about ??? our M is not getting fixed. What your H will want is for you to be "settled " before he went away , to have you where he needs you and thats where it is comfortable for him. Having you there friendly and accommodating and happy to see him adds a piece of calm to his world. Now you have moved from that compartment and are playing a different game he will be concerned. You can still be polite and not deliberatly confrontational but just acting differently , not being home early in the morning is good . You are taking a bit of control away.
My bet is you will get more attempts from H to reasure himself before he leaves , otherwise he is going to be bothered about it while he is away.
this is good. men are fixers and as such if he is typical it is extremely difficult when things are not "fixed". Now you will be thinking whats Dave on about ??? our M is not getting fixed. What your H will want is for you to be "settled " before he went away , to have you where he needs you and thats where it is comfortable for him. Having you there friendly and accommodating and happy to see him adds a piece of calm to his world. Now you have moved from that compartment and are playing a different game he will be concerned. You can still be polite and not deliberatly confrontational but just acting differently , not being home early in the morning is good . You are taking a bit of control away.
My bet is you will get more attempts from H to reasure himself before he leaves , otherwise he is going to be bothered about it while he is away.
Hi Sunny, I am feeling a bit better today so I can sit on PC for a while.
I liked reading your story in that post. Helped understand more what is going on. Right now I think the guys are giving you a good perspective of what your actions will do to him. And the good thing is that they are ACTIONS, not REactions to his. It's just like you said, you are taking the wheel. I understand you even feel better, that should make it even easier for you... Take care & Love K
H just called again sounding unsure & maybe scared from the airport, "Just another attempt to talk to my son, I board in 15 minutes, so please call me."
I'm not going to call, unless I hear it would be better to, besides, S5 is still sleeping.
I don't think you should call. Your H seems to like the attention you give him. If you don't call he might spend his vacation trying to contact you and not being in a good mood with "the wretched one".
Dark hun
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Didn't he just see S5 yesterday? Isn't it still fairly early where you are? Isn't he b*ts*hit crazy???
YES to all the above
Don't call; don't feed the beast; don't let him draw you back in right now... you are enforcing very basic boundaries now...nothing crazy at all.
When S5 wakes up, let him try calling his dad. If he reaches him, fine; if not, he'll see him in a few days or can do as Jen has said...take some of his precious OW time to call him...
I've been a lurker on your thread for quite a while but haven't posted anything because I was never sure what to suggest. But with your most recent post I have to say....
DON'T CALL!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure your H knows which buttons to push to get you to communicate with him. Now he's trying to prey on your nurturing nature.
If you don't call he might spend his vacation trying to contact you and not being in a good mood with "the wretched one".
Exactly!
Quote:
Don't call; don't feed the beast; don't let him draw you back in right now... you are enforcing very basic boundaries now...nothing crazy at all.
Yes, he was just w/him yesterday. Funny how he can go from Sat. afternoon until Monday night w/out seeing or talking to him, what's the difference now!
Quote:
I'm pretty sure your H knows which buttons to push to get you to communicate with him. Now he's trying to prey on your nurturing nature
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He knows me well, this is throwing him for a loop, Lil' Miss Loyal/don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable, is not reacting or rushing to reassure him.
He left a VM yesterday evening saying he would have cell service in Mexico & would call from there to confirm where he would be staying, because he didn't know for sure yet (Uh huh ). When he does call, please answer the call so I can talk to S5.
He's in the air for the next couple of hours, so I could have S5 leave a VM, but I really don't want him to have anything to go on, so think it's better to skip it.
).