I know exactly how you feel. I have been there, right where you are, and made my share of mistakes. So, in the hopes that you don't do the same thing, let me share a little experience and advice:
It will feel like he is moving on without you. You will see things in him that you hate. But remember this, you have no control over what he does. This is a hard thing to accept, but for your own sake and peace of mind, you will need to try.
It is easier said than done to do everything that this book recommends. Try anyway, and remember, none of us are perfect. We all say and do things that we are kicking ourselves for later. If you feel the need to contact by phone, make sure your phone is inaccessible. If you want to send him an email, post it here first, because you will get valuable feedback on whether or not to send it. Trust me, this board has saved my collective a$$ a few times.
Find a mantra. Say it when you feel stressed. Mine is just breath. Then practice the mantra.
Personally I noticed a change when I found something to do other than calling my H. I started to mediate, pray and do yoga. But thats me. Find something you like to do, and do it, because it does help with the stress.
Allow yourself to be happy, sad, angry, depressed. Emotions are okay. But don't let your H know. He only needs to see you happy.
Look at yourself, and ask yourself what you would change about yourself if you could. Then change it. Listen to your H, and when he says this is what he would change, think of whether or not it is something you would want to change about yourself. If it is, change it.
Remember that the only person you have control over is you. And even then, sometimes we lose it.
And breath...
Lola
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
