KJ - I agree with Neil about the meds. My W used to be on antidepressants 2 years ago. She had a VERY hard time getting off of them and I really feel like that triggered this. 1.5 years ago is when she started cutting people off in her life - just took longer to get to me.
I think the best med right now is to GAL and feel good about yourself. Down worry about the backslide - we all do them - just learn from it and move on.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling like your best friend died - I actually told my W that in one of my backslides. I think that's a normal feeling right now.
I'm with you on the sadness right now - let's make a deal - it ends right now for the entire weekend, ok?? I think that would help me too.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.