All settled in 250 miles apart

[JWS]

Well i am going to a movie tonight with my W. it will be a pretty brief encounter and i think that is best right now. I have a lot of mixed emotions right now. my plan is a bit of friendly chit chat before the movie then afterwards a brief talk about the movie then i have to go quickly because it will be prety late.

I know that i will be strong and not let it out, but there is mistrust and anger in my heart right now and that part of me does not even want to go see her. I guess this is normal and i will deal with my own feelings and not take them out on her. could help to detach a bit.

I wish i could skip over the next two to three months of my life. I know that all of her eggs and in the Law School basket and she is so consumed with worry and stress about that, she can not really think of anything else. I know things won't change over night but i don't think they even have the potential to change until she is fully in the swing of things there.

I was looking for something in my office when i found a note from her, written about 6 years ago. "just a reminder I love you and always will, love her" it really lifted my sprits. there was a momentary sadnees but over all it lifted me up. we all said for ever, and thats a very long time. in the terms of the big picture these few years of termoil are short and the good memories will last forever.