He's such a prick. Forget about the box. I'd like to kick him in the nuts.
Hey Bro. I appreciate your willingness to kick him where it hurts, but -- and this is a good thing -- I feel like I should come to his defense and say the man I married isn't a prick. I know you would love the guy I married. Unfortunately, his anger/hurt/pride has taken over his personality, so he can, on occasion, behavor in a prick-like manner.
I'll keep you in mind should I decide to throw a "Love Hangover" sale - nothing over $1.00. He's got an entire collection of Orvis and G Loomis Rods/Reels I'm sure you'd enjoy as well. I'll post a picture of his 'shrine' at the alternate universe in a bit... the preview sale. =)
In all seriousness, I would never take or harm any of his "stuff". I'm tempted to leave it all behind because the stuff is so insignificant to me. All I need/want is love, respect, laughter, companionship... (and the occasional peep toe shoe). I always thought I was pretty easy to please.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Nothing was ever discussed regarding the removal of the photos and my follow up text message. In fact, NOTHING is ever discussed. We coexist in virtual silence. I came to the realization that "this" relationship is over. To be honest, I haven't done the best job DBing. It's impossible to act "as if" when you're dealing with a zombie. He has the 'dead-eye' look when he's near me, if you know what I mean. I make his life a complete hell. It isn't a pleasant feeling knowing you make someone so completely miserable. But that is the reality.
I went to bed last night having exchanged a maximum of 10 words with my husband the entire day. I cried myself to sleep and woke in the middle of the night with him crawling into bed. He didn't call me "baby" or tell me he wanted to hold me. He had sex with me without saying a word. This has happened several times since I last mentioned I would have a talk with him about not returning to the couch... but for some reason I am unable to speak up. I just let him leave because, in truth, I don't want him in my bed. I don't want to be near him. I do not know this man. I do not enjoy the sex. The "interesting" part -- and this is difficult to go into because I'm not comfortable discussing the details and when we allegedly meet face to face this shall never be mentioned, mkay? -- is that he continues to go out of his way to please me (over and over and over). If we were in a happy relationship, I'd be the luckiest girl in the world. Unfortunately, my feelings for him are numb. My body responds to his touch, but it isn't a feeling of pleasure for me. Also, without going into too much detail, I don't think he is having the kind of "result" most people are hoping for. That breaks my heart even more. I feel like less of a woman.
How did my life end up like this??? Part (most) of me feels completely used. A tiny part of me wonders what kind of non-verbal message he's trying to send. My C thinks he's just being selfish, but I didn't go into detail about his "generosity" (too embarassed). I know I should just talk to him, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm so tired of putting myself out there. I'm just so tired of being rejected and hurt. This constant knot in my tummy is starting to feel normal.
A couple other things happened today, but I need a break from thinking about it. I'll post more in a bit.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I don't think he is having the kind of "result" most people are hoping for. That breaks my heart even more. I feel like less of a woman.
Is this a result most men feel pretty floppy about if it happens?
As you know.. I haven't had 'huh' dang.. in almost a whole year (dramatic wailing in the background) so my memory is a bit dim. If it is a floppy consequence maybe one head is able to feel droopy and ashamed while his mouth does the nonverbal talking.
Or he might be a horndog with a noodle complex.
What do they say about sex.. 10% between your legs, 90% between your ears? Now.. just hush about feeling like less of a woman. I'm mean, you're howling.. over and over and over. Your mind is there in the moment. Even with everything going on, you're still responsive.
What is going on in his mind... cuz it shows in his actions.
I assume you and your H used to dialog quite a bit. Can you not do small talk with him now? Communication is so important - until one of you starts talking more, nothing is going to happen in rebuilding your M. Dont talk about your R problems - there is so much more things to discuss to help relieve this huge wall between the two of you.
I also think you need to draw the line on the drive by sex without any emotions or pleasure on either of your parts. I have no idea why he is doing it if he is not getting satisfaction. Maybe he thinks it is some sort of duty he has to do as part of the marriage.
You have to get back to DBing for yourself. Make yourself happy and your H should notice.
Another man (at least genetically) chiming in -- sex with an estranged spouse is a personal decision. But if it makes you feel like that, I agree with Kerry - I would draw the line there and not allow it.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
