It was a great moment. I then went to and decided that I was no longer going to let what had gone on in the past (i didn't get on too well with my parents) affect my present. i decided to stop living my life to suit what other people thought I should do and start living it for what **I ** wanted.
Wow, Jen, thanks for the post. I identify so strongly with it...and mostly I do a pretty good job of staying there.
Just wondering...why didn't you get along with your parents? I'm asking because tomorrow I am on a plane back to my hometown for a friend's wedding...and while I'm there I'll be spending some time with my mom.
It's not a good relationship...and I am still so new at taking care of myself and living for me that I feel so weak around her. It's like we're back to when I was 13 again. She's said some pretty horrible things to me in my life, gave me NO trust or space, searched through my belongings, assumed the worst.
And yeah...I know that's about her. Really I do. But I have learned to keep my guard up and her at arm's length. So, of course she pursues when she's around me. It's just like being a WAS I think. The only thing is I'd like to settle it, but she wants no part of taking responsibility for her behavior or part in our relationship. I am DREADING seeing her...but it's really only for a few hours, and my brother and his family will be there, and wine...and my husband doesn't really understand it, but he supports me.
I am actually a really good liar...I had to be living in that house.
I'm rambling now. I haven't actually spoken to my parents since Christmas...of course, they haven't called either. But I'm getting the blame for it as she tells all of my family what an awful daughter I am. Maybe I am...but I don't really care.
So tonight, I completely understand the WAS, just in a different context.
Ah well. I'll keep working on me.
Kiddos, I'll be gone for the next 11-days. It's a long weekend in my hometown, then H and I are going to Rocky Mountain National Park for a week. I am SO looking forward to hiking and getting grounded and spending some good time with H.
Jen & Rob, thanks so much for keeping up with me. Some days I feel like I need a remedial course!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
