Went back to the house today to do some laundry and spend time with D11. I decided to mow the lawn while I was there. When the wife came out I asked her if she was going to work today, she said yes why? I told her so that I would know what time she would get home. I asked if she wanted to grill some chicken tonight. She said that she was not sure and did not want to give me false hope. I told her I was grounded in reality. She asked what that meant. I told her I did not really have expectations one way or the other. That it was just dinner. She said ok.
In the evening after dinner we went to softball practice. She was making some dumb remarks about me at practice. Just let it go.
When we got back to house had to talk about a few things. Asked if she wanted me rub out her shoulder and she said yes. She was trying to tell me about a technique to get under the shoulder blade and said that she would show me on D11. I said that maybe she could show me more massage techniques. She said that would be giving me false hope. I said that it would not, I am not expecting anything. She said it would. Let that go. She asked about IC and she asked if I said anything about her. I said that I thought she was confused (oops), She said that she was serious and then I just said I know and left it at that.
She does thank me for doing things around the house. I told her today that she has D11 and was trying to help make life a little easier for them.
I don't have much hope right now. I will still stand, but I think she is making steps away from me. It just seems you can feel the difference in the body language. I am trying to hold out until she gets back on her anti-depressants the way that she needs to be.
Just one of those down moments when you just feel like giving up. On the downhill of the roller coaster. Even with accepting the fact that it may not work out, still hurts. But tomorrow is another new day.
Last edited by yenko69; 07/18/0803:57 AM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
