Left the Rollercoaster - Now what???

[No Longer BH]

After stepping away from posting in infedelity for a couplpe of weeks, I now find myself here. A short recap of my sitch:

WAH started to pull away from me after trying to deal with a bad sitch with a close family member. He started to spiral into a depression and blamed me for it. GOt the ILYNILWY in Aug 07 and started to think there might be an A happening. In Dec found some evidence but H said that she was only a friend and that it could have gone to an A, but had not gotten that far yet. He begged to work on R. Lasted all of three weeks and then H spiraled into horrible depression. By March said he had to move out to find himself and get happy again to come back to family. By May, OW was confirmed.

I moved away to live with family 2 hours from H as soon as I found out. Was no longer going to let him cake eat. After a few "my heart is still open to working on us in the future but I need to work on me right now" comments, I started to think all he needed was time. Turns out he's just passive aggressive. June 30th H said he was still having sex with OW because she was a good time and great at sex. Had no intention of stopping it and felt no remorse for doing it. H scheduled a mediation appointment to get us LS. I had finally had enough and decided that if he wanted it to be over, then there was no half way doing it, so I filed for D 7/2/08.

Here is the crazy part. As soon as it was filed, I emailed a good bye letter to H, just saying that I did not respect his choices and therefore could no longer be a part of his life. I would only communicate to him through email about S issues and that he would be getting served in 1-2 weeks. STBXH responded by pulling the money out of my account, taking the tax stimulas check and spending it ALL on him and OW in less than a week, canceling his direct deposit and threatening me with a temporary custody hearing becasue I "stole" S away. Turns out he did not even have a lawyer. I threatend legal action if funds were not returned and we final worked on an agreement with the money.

So, here I am, getting ready for my first mediation appointment next week and trying to detach so that I can move on. I have been doing NC and 180 since Sunday and ever since then STBXH has been emailing me constantly. Most is stuff that he either can figure out on his own or is not important enough for me to respond to. Today, had to meet him to exchange S (its his weekend) and STBX was mad. Wanted to know why I was not responding to emails. Said I have been busy...which is true.

My question is, what is up with this and why is he so mad that I filed? He is the one who wants out, I'm just giving it to him. I just dont get it, but I'm staying in NC anyway.