(((GFI))) (((Michelle))) I'm glad I got it done too and GFI I'm right there with you on the little hope thing.
We had a lot of R talk yesterday, none of it good or promising. I really think he just doesn't have the heart/guts to tell me its over and wants me to be the one to end it, which frankly I get closer to doing everyday.
I have an interview later today for a lateral position, I wouldn't make more money, it would just be a change and maybe that would be for the best right now, shake things up a bit...who knows.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Confused about a couple of things H said yesterday...
First was after all was said and done he said, "Well this gets easier everytime." and I asked what that meant and he said the saying goodbye thing. He also said that since we have been together so long that its a process and its natural to go through this (How the F*ck does he know?). He says a bunch of stuff that indicates that he is done but can't say it then tells me...well we aren't D yet. He also went on to say today that he wants me to continue with school so "we" can live better, HUH? When he talks of things, maybe its an unconscious thing, but he always says, "we should do ...", or "we should buy that..."
Nothing makes sense. If he is going to be with her, why would he need to take his name off of our house? Why wouldn't he just let me file for D and be on his way?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
He's saying stuff that makes him feel better. I don't think he is really trying to tell you anything with it. He wants to think saying goodbye is getting easier. He wants to think that what he is going through is normal. I think the "we" things could well be habit. As far as school goes, he probably sees it as a good thing, whether you are together or not. Even if you are D'd there is going to be a connection between your success and his wallet. (On the other hand, I think he actually does care about you, and the school IS a good thing, right?)
I don't think he is reasdy to say he wants to be with her. I Think there is a little voice in the back of his head saying, "If the baby isn't yours, you can go back to Corey, like nothing happened!"
I don't think he is reasdy to say he wants to be with her. I Think there is a little voice in the back of his head saying, "If the baby isn't yours, you can go back to Corey, like nothing happened!"
I tend to agree. It's impossible to know what he's really thinking, of course. But, I'm sure his addiction is dictating the way he feels. The Troll feeds his addiction and it's too much for him to give up yet. I think two key things are at play: the addiction, first and foremost, and the "unknown" with the baby. I don't think he loves the Troll, but he loves what she 'allows' him to do: feed the addiction.
Your situation is so difficult. The only suggestion I could make is to focus on yourself, your school work, your children and your future. Always know you'll be OK no matter what happens with your marriage. You are loved and cared for by many. Oh, and TRY not to analyze everything your h says. He's very confused.
((((((((Corey)))))))
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I don't think he is reasdy to say he wants to be with her. I Think there is a little voice in the back of his head saying, "If the baby isn't yours, you can go back to Corey, like nothing happened!"
I agree. I have always thought (and I could be totally wrong of course!) but from things your H has said that he was going to wait for the baby to come before making a decision. So if the baby isn't his, then he wants to just pretend it all never happened and stay with you. But if he is the dad, I got the impression he might be with OW to try to form a "happy family" or something. But truthfully, I think if that happened their R would quickly crumble; both of them seem kind of messed up or confused and I am guessing OW might even leave him if she finds someone with more money or something like that. She doesn't sound like a very good mom, and probably wouldn't be a good W either... Karen
