the "real" world it is somehow a priceless gift to have your spine showing and wear a size zero.
Ali - your thinking about the fasion world which is mostly influenced by gay men. That size zero thing is some kind of warped way that they think woman should look (like boys???). No straight guys I know want to see stick women. Shapely is good in my book.
But see I want to understand how in the porn industry it is a Fantasy to be thick.... Shoot I am trying not to be so thick and juicy... Acceptance.... ~Ali....
I didn't get what you meant by 'thick.'
It may just be what you've watched, Ali. There's lots of stuff out there featuring the tall, skinny, model look, particularly the European stuff. At the same time, there's lots of stuff out there that features the "big" girls (big in the way of your choice). You can choose your own fetish, these days.
Quote:
and then in the "real" world it is somehow a priceless gift to have your spine showing and wear a size zero.
Here, you're talking to the wrong guy. I have never found the stick-figure girls to be attractive, and don't get the appeal. I've always preferred my women to be curvalicious, going back to high school. A group of girls in band once figured out that those were the only girls that I dated, and thought I was such a 'dog' for it. Ah, well.
Who wants to hug a bag of bones? Give me some warm, soft curves to snuggle into and explore!
Gad...I see my wife on Saturday. So don't mind me going nuts here.
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
Gad...I see my wife on Saturday. So don't mind me going nuts here.
Dont mind at all...
Oh yeah.. thick is a young "hip" term probably even outdated by now.... I have teenagers..
that means she isnt skinny but she isnt fat either... Jennifer Lopez.. Beyonce.... get it?
I am learning to embrace it... and enjoy it... And so yeah I suppose it is just personal preference like you say and my Hubby loves curves.... so that would explain the movies he used to pick... DUH?
I suppose it takes all kinds. I alawys went for the athletic type. Think gymnists, ballerinas, basketball players, runners, rock climbers etc. They usually covered the range from pretty butch to very femme and heights ranging from 6'2" to 5' flat. I can appreciate the curves, but not my deal. I get more from the size zero types if they are hard and not flabby.
Not buying it, Baggy. You are just telling yourself the stories that straight men tell themselves because they aren't getting the "real" story straight.....
This is such a typical GUY response from you here. I actually gave you an honest answer based upon how I actually feel when watching that kind of stuff. And you took that response, wadded it up, and tossed it in the trash as invalid.
I had to grin. I deserve the turn-about, believe me.
-- B.
P.S. To be really honest here, I also feel a twinge of envy or intimidation watching those guys. I'm comfortably average in size, but watching pornography, you could get the impression that 'average' is actually 'small.' I also know that my wife is turned on by the big, magnificently endowed men -- and since I'm likewise turned on by magnificently endowed women, I can understand this appeal. It comes down to this, however: first, while she enjoys the look of a large male member, she doesn't necessarily want the monster inside of her; second, we're committed to each other and in love, and both of us can be quite happy with what the other has to offer. 'Window shopping' is one thing, but when it comes to the real thing, we're satisfied with what we have in hand...and elsewhere.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
I'm glad you brought this back up, I was hoping you would.
I knew my response to you would either aggitate you or give you a chuckle or both. I did so because I was hoping you would re-address it so I could make a point. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.
Here is the point I had wanted to make in the whole thing. The discussion leading up to it went something like this:
1. You brought up what I said on my post about no one being 100% gay or straight.
2. In that point you also brought up that you feel your hyper-hetero status may have bit you in the butt due to your not being able to fully understand how your wife (or women in general) can/could find the male genitalia attractive.
3. In an attempt to help you see that you are not as hyper-hetero as you may have thought, and that you can in fact see male genitalia as attractive, I brought up the point about male porno featuring HUGE male members and how, this must be because men CHOOSE to see them huge.
4. You responded as I expected you would, by saying that essentially "well I may appear to enjoy seeing it, but it is only because of transference".
5. I responded with "ok you can tell yourself that if you want, but IMO it isn't 100% honest".
6. You let the subject drop for several days (as no doubt you were laughing at me, which I was also hoping you would) :0)... and then you bring it back up BUT you also add the bit about being a eensy bit insecure about seeing big 'uns.
So here we are....
The bit about the insecurity, THANK YOU, this is something that men will rarely admit - even though I think nearly all men do feel it. (I'll touch more on that later, possibly elsewhere).
But...what I really hoped you could see and admit, based on your earlier statement that you fear your hyper-hetero status has bit you in the butt...is that you actually DO get turned on by seeing the big sticks in porn WITHOUT having to also say it is due to transference.
As I know that you know all about transference, then you also must know that it is a mechanism that we use in order to put us one level away from something we somehow fear yet also turns us on.
Do you see the similarity between what I am suggesting to you, and what you have suggested to many people on this board regarding strong yet wishing-to-be-submissive women, and how they WANT one thing but they cannot really admit it, and they frequently don't even realize they want it. Most can't say "I want you to spank me because it turns me on". And instead they will say "well its because I associated it with this or that and this or that happened in my past and then add on this or that fears and blah blah blah".
Is this a valid point at all in your book?
I am basing what I am saying on (as I said previously) literally hundreds of conversations with people of both sexes about this same topic, and how when you can just adjust your "seeing" a tiny bit, without fear of being judged for being that tiny 5% non-hetero, that sometimes maybe there is "more" to it than transference. Sometimes transference is just the easiest answer, because the truth can be so complex that it is not understandable. And so we cling to the transference answer because it is more helpful to our inner goals of "remaining hetero" (or "remaining a strong woman", etc).
Yeah? Anything? Do I even at least get a gold star for a decent debate?
Yeah! Reunion at last after three weeks of summer-vacation induced separation. I'm now back with the family for my own two-week break. I think the bed is still smoldering.....
I was also at a conference all last week, so not much time for chatting with you folks here. At any rate, DQ wrote:
Originally Posted By: DanceQueen
But...what I really hoped you could see and admit, based on your earlier statement that you fear your hyper-hetero status has bit you in the butt...is that you actually DO get turned on by seeing the big sticks in porn WITHOUT having to also say it is due to transference.
Point taken, DQ. We'll probably just have to agree to disagree on this one.
I still think that one can become sexually aroused by watching someone else of the same sex becoming sexually aroused, because you identify with them and want to experience what they are experiencing. It's familiar to you: you have the same equipment, hormones, and brain chemicals. In other words, when I'm in porno fantasy-land, I want to BE that actor --> I don't want that actor.
By the same token, I never claimed to be 100% Hetero, or hyper-hetero, as you called it. I simply said that I'm hetero enough for it to cause me problems in understanding my wife's point-of-view sometimes. Where that level is, I don't know. 90%? Shrug. So you might be right: at some deep, hiden level, I'm also attracted to the guy and his big rod.
And like the sexual submissives I frequently discuss here, I'll acknowledge its possibility, but don't want to talk about it.
-- B.
Last edited by Bagheera; 07/21/0802:09 AM.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
OK OK, you win. I get it. You don't want to talk about it.
(hee hee, I am just poking fun at you...I really do accept and believe you....just a good laugh at this point)
So happy Mrs. B and family made it home safe and the bedding has been burning ever since.
We have a nesting couple of sparrows living in a bird house outside of our bedroom window. Did you know that sparrows are very prolific and can have up to 4 broods of babies between March and August? And beyond that, the babies grow up and move away really quickly, like just a matter of weeks. So the parent birds are literally shoo-ing the babies to get the heck out of the house so they can get it on and make more babies.
Therefore, for the past several months, we have heard and seen these birds fornicating outside our bedroom window almost every single day, several times per day. The only time they aren't getting it on is when there are babies but that only lasts a few weeks. When they are getting it on, they do it like 10 times in 10 minutes, rest for an hour, and then back at it. They make a specific chirp when they are doing it, so we always know.
My fiance likes saying funny, naughty things like "yeah that mommy bird is a slut just like you, honey".
Cracks me up!
And then it makes me horny?
I'm so confused...but happy.
Just thought I'd share a bit of my twisted life with you this a.m.
Acceptance.... ~Ali.... 
);
