Yep, the peck on the cheek was just an experiment without emotional investment. Learning to detach. The family fireworks evening was H's idea; D decided where she wanted to go, and H decided to join us because D really wanted him there. He was having a bad day and reportedly stayed in bed all day (alone!) because he was depressed due to it being our first separated holiday. So there were probably several factors in play at the same time there.
Yes, trying to focus on personal goals. I really need to find a job, but it's proving very difficult. Lots of experience as a nurse, but I've been doing ministry for >6 years and I love it. It doesn't pay well, tho. That wasn't much of a factor before, but it will be as a single mom. I'm trying to find non-bedside nursing jobs (nothing in ministry is cropping up) but they're not very good single-mom jobs really--can't work evenings or nights, would prefer not working every other weekend, on-calls are very tricky without a good support system for child care. D can stay by herself for an hour or 2, but isn't comfortable beyond that. So I'm trying to find some non-clinical spots, but the economy is a factor there. Oh--and I need decent benefits too. My current job ends after Labor Day. I'll feel much better once I know what I'm doing.
Anyone with experience--when do I stop feeling overwhelmed with stress, grief, anxiety?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
