Thinking of biting the bullet

[ACJ]

Thank you Cinders, Snodderly and Walking your posts really do mean a lot to me.

I've had a rollercoaster day today (when don't I!). This morning when I got up I was so low that I couldn't even make the decision about what to wear for work. I nearly rang in sick but I had too long standing training session to deliver so I did eventually go in. Probably for the best.

I've been gettin emails from the NHS for over a year now telling the jobs that are available in the field, place etc that I am looking for. Today there was one that is more local to me than where I currently work, is a higher banding and which i am more than qualified to do. I will apply. It's not necessarily in the area that I want to specialise in but right now I don't have that luxury. The only downside is that it's in a prison. I once went to look round there before (funnily enough when H was absent last time) but pulled out of the interview that time. I have done some teaching there since and although it's a bit grotty compared to the reasonably plush office I have now there is certainly potential for me to stamp my mark on the place. So that lifted my spirits just a little.

Then this afternoon I was telling a colleague of mine about having to look for a weekend job and she asked me at what age maintenance payments stop. She assumed it was 18 but then I remembered the original L I had telling me legally it was 16. Now S15 is 16 in August and whilst I want to support him all the way if the only way I can set my financial predicament straight is to stick to the letter of the law I will. IF I am correct there is a chance that H will only be able to get away with what he has done until the beginning of Sept as then I wont be liable and he will have to start paying for D13 again. I really hate to be talking about my kids in this way but H has given me no choice. I just have to wait until Monday when i have the appointment with my L.

My faith (not strong originally) has really taken a bashing over all of this. Today I think I saw that God is watching over me. Even if neither of these things I have mentioned happen at least he has made me think of them and lifted my spirits for a while.

I still haven't made my mind up about doing the ultimate LRT but at the moment I can't see any other choice.