the flip side to excited is.....fear or feeling down..yep- im already a lil' bit there...but to be expected!
i would have liked our HOT TUB time to go a bit "further" but he is being very respectful and not confusing himself right now- thats hard for me but im ok with it...
i feel him blossoming- like your quote says..it is painful for him - but a relief at the same time...pretty amazing to watch
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Just remember, don't rush too much....give him the space to figure his things out.... you're doing great...keep it up!!! Keep encouraging him to talk to you....validate, being affirming, etc.
look how things have changed!!!!!!!!!
be patient tho....
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
yep- im not rushing it- i promise...i wont contact him til he contacts me and take it slow...i hope it keeps going in this direction!
i know- its amazing that he has opened up to me so much! i am very happy and a little freaked at the same time bc i dont want to get too excited...
PMA PMA PMA- i actually had to remind myself of this a lot on our hike- PMA- he is just talking, PMA he is clearing his ind, PMA - it will all be good!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Thanks Chris- slow and steady is right...its funny that i wished so much for all this to happen, yet my fear builds up when it does- bc you sort of dont want to believe it or get too attached....so im just going about my own thing!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
thanks Neil- thats nice to hear from a guy's perspective- i am really not bringing it up at all- and when he starts he just gushes about everything...amazing. he said he isnt talking to even his sister anymore or any friends about it- he is writing in a jouranl (wow) and i would think im the only one he is telling this to....it was nice on our hike when we didnt have to talk about the R...just everything else and had a lot of fun!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
well- i think he got to this pint by me being calm, cool, happy and collected every time we interacted. he said initially he was dead set against this working...i think if i had been angry , uncontrollably crying or pursuing in any way he could have used that to stop his growth...but it forced him to face his own sh*t...he said he realized he was blaming me for everything...he said he stopped telling anyone about whats going on and he has been self reflecting a lot and in a journal..i validated what he said very quietly and said thats nice/amazing...and i like to talk about my stuff whereas you (he) may not do it that way- everyone is different..i think im just showing him that I ACCEPT him and however he does EVERYTHING is ok to me..when he said he was annoyed at me for the smallest things i was doing- i said thanks for sharing that bc i felt it from you....another way to accept…
i guess overall why he was able to get to the point of reflecting was that he had no other choice bc i was giving him all good things....it really out a damper on his pity party..he he he hope this helps/answers your question...
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Accepting was a key thing here, I suspect. I think a lot of the people that we care for that we are experiencing this pain feel that they are not accepted.
I know for one, my W has told me flat out that I didn't accept her. I made the mistake at first of TELLING her that I did, but that I just failed to do it in a way that she would recognize it. You seemed to have DONE it through your actions. Congrats.
I hope I can get there just like you have
Me: 30 W: 27 Married: 9/2007 ILUBNILWU: 1/2008 W moved out 5/24/2008 W suicide 8/25/2009
