Yes, a very good question. Before you go to Retrouvaille you either receive a letter from them or a phone call to both spouses asking if:
1. there is no third party involved; 2. you will go there with an open mind and a willing heart.
The mind needs to be open enough to answer yes to that question. We received the letter, and when I read it I thought, "Oh, this isn't for us, he won't go." When I handed him the letter, he read it and said "OK." So we jumped that hurdle.
How open is that mind walking in the door? Not much. My H didn't want to be there. The program does very much open minds. When I looked around that room friday night, everyone looked tense and scared. By Saturday morning everyone looked relaxed, and by Saturday afternoon, almost everyone was walking around with their arms around each other! Look back at Husband's last thread, and read how his wife responded. She went because he told her it was that or divorce. But now she is so happy they went. She is a very willing participant.
As for the Post sessions. We had one couple with a husband who worked every Sunday. The wife went to the Post session with a video camera and a tripod. She had a name card for the husband, and she put it on the camera. She videotaped the Post session, and then during the week, they watched it together. She said she got more out of the session, because she experienced each one twice. He only went to the last session where we "graduated".
