The first walkaway went to college. After she graduated she also tried to get back together with me, but I just was not interested in her anymore. I told her I didn't have any love left for her. She hurt me too bad and I was done. She came to my apartment a few times after she graduated and I pretty much saw the same behavior from her and I believed I deserved better.

The last girlfriend walk away said she just needed space. Said she wasn't interested in prusuing a relationship with me any longer because of the debt that I had at the time. I was 21 or 22 and had about 7K in credit card debt and student loans debt. I was also on my own and just starting out. I believe she just wanted to be with other people at the time. There were other men prusuing her, and she was looking for greener grass. DAM paid for everything with that girl when we were dating. About 7 or 8 months later we got back together for a short period. Then she got a job at the other side of town. No contact. Then three months later she called and tried to get back together, but I already moved on and found someone else. Whom I ended up marrying two years later.

My parents are very supportive of me. My parents are divorced. I do talk to my step mother, and all my step aunts. They think my wife is a spoiled brat. My mom does too. My step mother was battling breast cancer and they were not there for us.

My mom is a me person. I had to constantly tell her when this just happened that I needed her to listen to me and not her problems, because I was the one in crisis. My mom is a Godly woman and would pray with me on the phone or when she would visit.

My dad. My dad is vindictive. Since he went through a divorce he told me to change the locks. Refi the house. Cut my losses now and land the ship. My step mother said the same thing. I told them I wasn't ready to do that yet.

Journal:
Yesterday at the game. My wife shows up and she is in a nasty mood. I was coaching my daughters team. In the middle of the inning my wife called me over. I told her to give me a minute. When I went over to see what she wanted. She said take your son in the bushes to go the bathroom. I said why can't you take him to the portajon ten feet away from you. She said is digusting. I said well why can't you take him in the bushes I'm coaching the team. They are eight year olds and need all the help they can get. Then she said why can't you just do it. I just turned around calmly and said. Knock it off.

Then she said some comments during the game. I was instructing my daughter about something. My wife screamed out, tell him to shut up (D's name).

My son also wanted my attention and kept jumping on me while I was trying to coach. It was getting to the point of anonying and I asked him to stop. My wife yelled over leave him alone.

I finally walked over to my wife. I said stop being so nasty. She said she wasn't and it was all in my head. I said no, your being nasty and you have no reason to be.

I looked over at her other times during the game, and now I just feel sorry for her. She is a miserable person always has been, and I would react to her.

When the game was over I had to give son a horseback ride to her car. They decided they wanted to stay with their mother. I kissed them. Then my wife said she was going to my house to take her clothes from my dryer. I said it is still our house and it still our dryer. Then I shut her door and walked away. I didn't look back.

Now this morning she text me. How many kids are on D's team. I waited 20 minutes and reply back. 15. She immediately replys back Thanks. Then I wait 10 minutes and say. YW, kids be good for grandma. I love you guys.

If she doesn't want anything to do with me. Why does she constantly bother me with stupid things?

She is doing what she wants. Yet she is still miserable.

Well I had a feeling of elation after she left. I talked to the female coach. She let me beat hear ear about my wife. This coach went through a divorce. She goes Phil you seem like a really nice guy. I said I feel like the battered husband, and I'm still getting battered. She said it looks like you are the battered husband, and you can't let her do it to you anymore. I said I know I did some things wrong in the marriage, but I believe they are fixable. Most of it was personality problems. She acted like a spoiled brat and sometimes I would just snap. I said I also drank and she didn't and that was always a big problem for us.

I said I'm getting better. I'm not reacting to her. I'm not letting her get to me. I explained the LBS or WAS condition as to who is crazier. We had some good laughs.