Michelle, ... yeah,... selfish a/hs frankly. I have to say, pushing back hard has been empowering to me. I just simply will not allow him to pull and push me where he wants me to be at any given moment. Controlling how I react is really starting to sink in. I do find that I still have to side step and shield myself from friends and whatnot cuz it just still hurts so freaking much, BUT, going dark to me was the best thing for me to do. He ain't giving up the parasite,... then he doesn't get to keep stringing me along. Ya know?
One thing is for certain he DOES blame me 100% for this marriage break up. Absolutely NO responsibility from him. NONE. Isn't that just duckie, eh? A family member with whom I have kept contact has confirmed what I've known instinctively all along... that he believes I had this affair that I didn't have... and is NOW using that to justify his own actions so he doesn't have to look in the mirror. Blame and guilt aren't on his agenda... looking in the mirror would force him to know his part in this break down. INSTEAD... he's busying himself by licking his paws and trying to show himself that finding someone who "APPRECIATES" him (the parasite)... shows he's the good guy here, and that I simply didn't appreciate what I had... and treated him badly.
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
