WAW is full steam ahead

[LosingSunshine]

Well,

I was out GAL last night and went out for dinner at the usual spot and then went d/t for Hot Summer Nights with some friends. I even met up with Jaws from this board. What was funny is his younger brother hangs with the son of the couple I was with. Small world. In anycase, lot's of great 'vettes and bikes, even an OCC bike which was cool. I also had a huge ego booster as we were standing out on the street talking. There was an attractive lady that started flirting with me after a passing smile on our part, so obvious with her body language that my buddy's wife even noticed. Made me feel good even though I had to let it slide.

So, update on the sitch...I got home last night with the kids and when the W got home, we had a pleasant conversation. She thanked me for cleaning the dishes that she had used the night before and the morning. She then asked how my day was and I told her what was going on at the office and how much more comforatble I feel about the future of my position (major contributing stress factor on my part leading up to the sitch) and how much exposure I am and will be getting throughout the larger division (I work for a business unit of a Fortune 50 company and there are 5 business units in our division). She seemed pleased that there is a sense of greater security as there was very little of that as long as 2 to 3 months ago. I asked how her day and she didn't really get into any details but she brought up how she'll be going to a conference in a few weeks. The conference is the week before I take the kids to the beach so she'll be w/o them for close to 2 weeks. Wondering how that'll play into the situation.

I decided since we were having a great time last night, why not stay out a little later than normal (during the work week I have been coming home around 9ish when I've gone out, if not earlier) so we all went to grab a late night snack. My W was in bed, or at least downstairs and out of sight, by the time I got home. She had left the front porch light on for me which was nice.

This morning there was no mention of last night on my part and no questions from her. I asked how the kids were and kept the conversation at that. I also reminded her that the daycare picnic was tonight and that I'll be taking the kids to it. She seemed a little interested, but not sure why.

So, nothing has reallyl changed this week. No mention of her convo with her L on Tuesday. Jaw's wife is using the same L as my wife and his L put her to shame during their first court appearance so that is comforting if the mediation falls through. Still going to be db'ing big time and staying dim for a few more days at least to see how that goes. Going to start being a little more unpredictable too.

Chris

[LosingSunshine]

Scott, these do sound familiar

"Too much has happened, I need to be happy now"
"I can't be happy with you, we are better separated, I'm calm now"
"Nothing you can say or do will change my mind, I want a divorce, it is my time to be happy"

It's eerie in a way how similar most of these sitch's truly are. Yeah, they have there own individual flare and what not but when you cut right down to it.

I have also wondered how much of a front she's putting on, being happy and acting like nothing is wrong when she is around the house when I know deep down there is pain, stress, and pressure. Maybe Sandi or SC can chime in on this. Do the WAWs put up a front/put on the happy face when around LBH? I find it hard to believe that she truly is happy given everything that is going on but you never know. Maybe that is another reason why she doesn't want me to be around when she is. The emotional component. Over the past 4 weeks, whenever we both are around, she usually would end up teary to some degree. Ah, who knows.

With regards to the bikes, there were plenty down there but there were more this past weekend. Sioux Falls has Hot Harley Nights which was on Saturday and last night was Hot Summer Nights with the 'vettes. The 'vettes will be leaving today to go to the Black Hills for a rally. Pretty awesome to see some of the classics that were out there.

Also, my friends pulled and twisted and finally broke me. If the D goes through, this spring I'll be buying a HD Road King. Going to pick up a brochure today during lunch and just maybe leave it on the kitchen island for the W to look at. Ha! That'll make her wonder. But in all seriousness, we were talking about it and started to plan a ride next May out to Pittsburgh (I have family out there) or DC (Rolling Thunder???). As I have been thinking about who I was/am, there is a rebellious/f the system side to me, even though I am all corporate/yuppy right now. The bike will allow me to express that side of me and will just add to my overall PMA and happiness. Maybe even get a sidecar for the kids and my dog :-)

Chris

[LosingSunshine]

Neil,

I tend to agree with your statement

"i think they say that because right now, they probably are happier...no one to share things with (at least in my sitch) and that makes them happier. No conflict. Marriage represents pain to them.... why be married?"

But how much of it is a front? Especially if they are still struggling with the decisions, as it seems in my case, according to my C. I believe my W is having a great time with her new friends, lifestyle and independence but what she is doing is IMO is not sustainable/permanent and revolve around pleasurable activities (partying, drinking, hanging out) and when those activities decrease or stop, lonliness will set in, because you don't derive happiness in this manner.

I guess I am a believer that you can't find happiness through activities, materialistic things, friends, job and so forth. You find happiness within yourself with what you have. Not with what you don't have, do, or want to do/become. Maybe I've read too many self-help books :-)

Chris