I was pretty demanding for most of this journey. I "busted" her every chance I got on "inappropriate" behavior and said many time what I thought was acceptable. It went over like a lead balloon early on but as she got of her "fog" it started to work but it must only be applied in small doses. You can't "rag", just state how you feel or how what they do hurts you. We tend to be very over-sensitive right now so use it sparingly. I typically didn't do it until I was fed up with the B.S. (ex. her not trying, unremorseful, very selfish, etc.)
To more accurately answer your question, I really used demands the most when I didn't care whether it made her leave or not. I refused to be a doormat once I knew what that meant. My ego is way too big for that. In fact, when she thought my requests were too much I just told her "well that is what I want and I won't accept any less". She knows that I am goal orientated and won't settle so she knew i was serious. Please don't think it is a guarantee. You have to be comfortable with potential consequences as well. It may be as small as a little silent treatment or as big as the big D so be prepared. You can't just back down from these kind of requests. once they are made they must stand.
Our enagagement class went awesome. Every time it si easier and more comfortable. You can tell that some people really connect with what you are saying. There is also a small group that don't give a sh** what you say. I guess they just want to find out the hard way. Whatever, you can lead a horse to water.....
Anyway, I hope that helps Nik. Keep me posted on your progress. Always remember to be faithful, especially to yourself.
