Okay, dug this thread out of the trash bin just so I could post semi-anonymously tonight.
H has been kinda crummy lately, has been off his antidepressants for at least 6 months (maybe longer). A couple of weeks ago (between concussion #1 and concussion #2, for those of you who have been following my "real" thread)he gave me the talk about how my weight issues (yes, I have put on about 40 lbs over my ideal weight despite dieting) and lack of athleticism (um, gee, maybe the thyroid and menopausal hormonal issues that caused the 40 lb weight gain have something to do with my fatigue???) are pissing him off. Oh, and by the way, he's not depressed, it's ALL MY FAULT HE'S UNHAPPY.
(I guess that's true, actually - I'm sure he WOULD be happy if I suddenly morphed into Gabrielle Reece!).
So, even though I recognize the twisted viewpoint my H has on everything at the moment, I'm bummed enough myself about my weight gain that I admit, I start to question myself. Am I really just such an unattractive fat middle-aged woman that H has a right to feel he got totally gypped in life????
So that's why I want to journal about this evening. I went to a little wine/munchies get-together with several other local doctors, with a couple brief presentations on asthma and on cardiac imaging. Very informal, about a dozen docs there, and hosted by a couple of female pharm reps that I like and know well.
Aside from the two lovely reps and the cute gal who runs the office that was hosting the event, I was the only woman there, the only female doc.
And you know what? I'm smart, funny, interesting, and I noticed how the men there went out of their way to talk to me. You can tell when a man is really enjoying your company, and they did! And two of them mentioned that they thought I was MUCH younger than I am (52). One guy even kept me there late so he could take me in the back and show me his ...etchings?...no, silly, his coronary CT angiograms.
Anyway - it was just nice, to have that validation that I'm not a hag, that intelligent men mostly find me attractive and interesting still.
