I am glad you chimed in. I feel bad but I haven't posted on your thread because I have no idea what to say. You have heard hang in there a million times and when your W is acting so irrational what do you do? You are one tough dude.
I was thinking about what you said and I guess that "incompatible" line isn't really how I wanted to phrase that. It is improving so its not impossible but I do need to continue to mix up how I present things to her. We had a terrible couple of weeks of interactions when I was fed up. When I get that way she shuts down too. Guess what, I changed my tune and she changed her's. We have had some great interactions recently that were at a higher level than ever before. We actually discussed things like mature, intelligent, loving adults. The control freak (me) even let her negotiate our new family vehicle. We discussed our options the night before quite casually but she was a bulldog when it was showtime. I was very proud of her and more importantly, so was she. It was actually quite funny. Once we got to the deal making part the boys constantly needed to go the bathroom or get a drink or whatever. I just did what they needed and left her there to work the dealer over on price. I would peek in and they still weren't low enough so she would tell them to try again. The old me could never have let go enough for her to do that. I think she really appreciated my trust in her. She just beamed for two straight days. Buying tip: If the vehicle has been on the lot over 90 days you can really get a steal. Ours had been there over 120 so I knew we had them on the ropes big time .
Unfortunately, we will have a new member on this site very soon I am sad to say. I just got off of the phone with a client in major R diffculty. Typical MLC/WAW sitch. He started out asking about financial issues but we spent 10 times more on the R side of it. It is hard hearing about divorces because I get so darn attached to my clients. He is going to get the books ASAP. I told him how common the whole thing really is and that if he is having a bad day or whatever to just give me a call. He sounded a lot better after we had talked. I guess it is my turn to pass on all of the knowledge that you great people have given me.
even let her negotiate our new family vehicle. We discussed our options the night before quite casually but she was a bulldog when it was showtime. I was very proud of her and more importantly, so was she. 
It was actually quite funny. Once we got to the deal making part the boys constantly needed to go the bathroom or get a drink or whatever. I just did what they needed and left her there to work the dealer over on price. I would peek in and they still weren't low enough so she would tell them to try again. The old me could never have let go enough for her to do that. I think she really appreciated my trust in her. She just beamed for two straight days. 
Buying tip: If the vehicle has been on the lot over 90 days you can really get a steal. Ours had been there over 120 so I knew we had them on the ropes big time 