Really? Where in CA are you going? I'm in San Diego!
Ellie Oh - and BTW - have you read the Five Love Languages yet? If not, you need to. Gifts is one of the five languages, and even if you and I, thrifty practical people that we are, don't see the value - if it is your spouse's language, it's very important to them. In my H's case, he had some very bad experiences in childhood (like his WAW mom forgetting to get him a birthday present, etc.) and so receiving from me was very important. Interestingly, when we were having difficulties and I decided to just go along and get him whatever he wanted and let him spend - he is now starting to rein in his spending! Definitely was an issue, having me be in control of finances.
In fact, one of the things that "did in" the OW - he gave her a Xmas present (even though they had theoretically broken it off) but she gave him nothing - meanwhile, I gave him everything on his wish list for Xmas. Then OW forgot his birthday (well, she barely knew him, how realistic was it of him to think she would remember it?) while I threw a lovely party with his closest friends and more nice gifts. And it was all cheaper than a divorce!
Also - can you do anything to help her call for copies of those credit card statements? Quit making it a struggle.
