Resentment and unhappiness...

[holdingon]

I said "do you remember the 20 times I asked you for those "lost" credit card statements? I won't do it until you get me that info and you know that? She said "well, weren't they due already?", "Yes, but I am not going to sign false documents, should I?"

tbone,
IMHO, you are parenting her. Not being a H, being her dad. Well, worse than her dad. Why say something like "20 times I asked you" you just put her on the defensive... I would be furious with you, too. You don't seem to talk to her in a loving way. I KNOW you are frustrated with her, but the way you are talking to her, I doubt she is listening.

Why not say, "oh my gosh, I haven't filed that yet" -taking responsibility. She might then say how come and you could say "I still don't have the credit card statements." Then, of course, it falls on her shoulders. You are so humble about the whole thing and she is going to figure out it is her screw up. The way you talked to her, she's going to be totally peeved at you from the start.

My friends and C have told me to let you be responsible for your actions and this is what I get. It always, always becomes my problem. How fair is that? This is exactly why I have to monitor everything, because I am always responsible to fix it. This is why I get irriatated when you don't focus on your business. How can I support you in other things when you don't take care of your responsibilities? I can't because I end up cleaning up the mess

Here you are ganging up on her, not just you and your expertise, but all of your friends and her C, too. So, you've pretty much flattened her again here.

Have you thought about an allowance for her? Some money she can blow like she obviously wants to, without your okay? Even this might be seen as controlling, but if the two of you can agree on an amount it might work. Your money IS her money, and her business IS your business. If she were a client of yours, would you treat her this way? Can you not find a solution that the two of you can live with?

You are communicating, you are living together and loving together... work this out, it is doable, you just need to get creative.