I think we all share the same fear that you do....about questioning whether or not they will ever make it out of the dark tunnel they have dug themselves into.
I can tell you this much, from what I have seen in the times my H & I have been piecing... they have a lot of work to do to get to a point of being whole again. I can just tell that my H is still questioning his every move in life, and is very unsure of himself & his career still. But he is making slow improvements that I hope will eventually get him out of this mess.
But the damage they do while on their coaster is enormous. It is really difficult and awkward for us to face many situations with people from our past life together. I dont know if he will ever adjust.
Well hang in there. I feel you do have a reason to still have hope. I also see many similarities between your case & BFM's. They got to a happy ending, and I believe you eventually will too. Your route may be different, as any case will be... but hang in there I think you have a strong influence on your h still. TIPPER
