I wrote my W an e-mail yesterday that I see her unhappiness causing her to do certain things and taking credit for my share of that unhappiness. I mentioned "balance" and reducing the stress in our busy lives. I concluded by saying that all I want is for her to be happy with her life, herself, and with those around her (family). She didn't reply but has been upbeat since. I wasn't saying too much that she hasn't heard from me before but writing to her seems to be more effective than talking. As soon as she senses that it could be "heavy" she shuts down. I mean doesn't even remember what I said but remembers that she didn't like it. On the other hand I could debate for hours. I should have done it in school and got it out of my system. Seriously, when a R is strained either marital or otherwise consider writing as a way to communicate effectively. I call it grenade communication. You pull the pin and walk away and by the time it goes off you are far away. The receiver then has time to think about it and doesn't just "react".
I hate the week before vacation. Why is it to take off 40 hours we have to work 60 the week before and 60 the week after? It will be a lot of fun even though I didn't get as in shape as I was last year. I didn't have the "marital stress diet" working for me this year. And no I am not complaining about that. We are going to the Jimmy Buffett concert on Saturday. The forecast isn't great but if we have half as much fun as last year that will be fine. The friends of my W that were helping me last year are going along. My W invited them which I found a little odd. The H is the nicest guy ever and I know he and I will have a good time. Maybe our W can restart their friendship. My W still feels betrayed by them that they took "my side". Once in a heated discusiion about this I said "they thought what you were doing was wrong". Well they did, but they were also worried about both of us.
I don't have much time but I had to shre this.
The Husband Shopping Center
A Husband Shopping Center has opened in Atlanta, where a woman can go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It is laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascend. There is, however a catch. You're only allowed in once. Once you open the door to any floor, you must choose a man from the floor. If you go up a floor, you can't go back down except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door says : Floor 1: These men have jobs and love kids. The woman reads the sign. "Well, that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids but I wonder what is further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign says: Floor 2: These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good-looking. "Hmmm, better" says the woman. "But I wonder what is futher up?" The third floor sign says: Floor 3: These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, and help with the housework. "Wow" says the woman, "very tempting, but there is more further up!" And so again, she goes up. The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4: These men ahve high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me." (That's how women talk in Georgia) "But just think... what must be waiting further up?" So up to the fifth floor she goes. The sign on that door says: Floor 5: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping. Have a nice day."
My W actually sent me this along with a thank you for her massage last night. I replied "That must make me a Floor 4 kind of husband."
I hope you all enjoyed that one. How about this for an example of a comeback. Floor 1: Looks like Jody Foster, caring, tolerates sex, somewhat loyal. Floor 2: Looks like Cheryl Crow, real sweetheart, likes sex, loyal Floor 3: Looks like Anna Kornikova, heart of gold, loves sex, faithful Floor 4: Looks like Pamela Anderson, nicer than mom, nymphomaniac, extremely faithful.
The difference is most men would quit at Floor 2. We are just not that motivated.
