Quoting Zebra: ... after 3 years of working like hell to save my marriage, and succeeding in "busting" the divorce, and prevailing over my W's 2 (at least) lovers, I'm feeling I have now arrived back at the "turning point" where I was when my marriage took a serious header. I've cleared away the wreckage of the affairs and the lawyers and the likely divorce, and the marriage is back and solid, at least today. But, it's not a happy marriage, it's not a guaranteed marriage.
ouch, indeed zebra!
The problem is me. I am not happy. I am not happy in me. I required too much of her back then, and she ran. I now require nothing of her, and at least she's free from the pressure of being the source of my happiness. I'm still not happy, and my epiphany is that I need to find that happiness.
I once had a similar epiphany... it changed my life. I easily identified things that made me happy and just decided, just like that, to do it. It was simple for me and like I said, it changed my life.
I've resolved to make some major changes in my life. I've defined for myself the sources of my unhappiness and I've resolved to eliminate them from my life. I had never identified them before, and simply by doing so, they've lost the power they had over me. Today, I shared this revelation with my W, and I asked for her support. She willingly gave it, YIPEEE!!! and agreed with my assessment. We are working on being a team working toward mutual happiness. But, I will never loose track of the requirement that I must be happy to make her happy and to have a happy marriage. We are both working on this....
z, i truly admire you taking ownership of your own happiness ~ I am certain WIFE will be extremely pleased -
(sorry for the hijacking, t... just had to say something...)
