I hate you to I love you in 13 grueling months

[smartcookie]

fb2, Before I met H, I stayed at most jobs about 6 months. Just long enough to learn it, get bored with it, & move on. My mom called me a Gypsy (tee hee, & you wonder why Gypsy & I are so tight, we're twins separated at birth). I would move often too. Staying put was always hard for me too.

I'll ask him your questions tonight, & get back to you.

I know both people have to be willing to face their own stuff. Most people want to start fixing the other persons stuff. DR is all about doing your own stuff, & hoping the person realizes it & comes around in time.

I survived childhood. I moved out at 16. I was on my own for 9 years. I was very strong & fiercely independent when I married H. I just couldn't stand up to him year after year after year of fighting. I wanted things to be peaceful, & nice. So, I folded. I began to lay down, I became a doormat. Then, I began to hate myself again, like when I was a child. Thinking, it was all my fault, I let it happen.

Then, one day, I saw H talking down harshly to my 17 year old son. I recognized the look on my sons face. I made a decision, I would fight back with everything in me. I had to, I had 4 kids that needed to learn how it feels to be treated respectfully by an adult male. My D14 is going to be dating soon, I needed her dad to treat me like a Queen, so she would choose appropriate dating partners & eventually a husband.

I just got home from an award ceremony over at the school. My S9 was awarded with the character trait "Fairness" for the 3rd grade. He also got 500 out of a possible 500 on the CRT testing.

I would do ANYTHING for my kids. Even stand up to an adult male who had been emotionally abusing me for close to 14 years.

Not every woman can survive what I did. By all reasonable statistics, I should be a crack wh*re or dead by now. I'm not.
I'm here hanging out with you awesome people.

Phew, this is as good as my $175 an hour C.