You guys are great. I come home from work to find all your great responses. Bethie, long time no hear. And some new guys responded too! How awesome. Welcome back Bridget.
He did agree in writing, but has changed his mind because, as he put it, he needs the money that's been put aside for years for their education, to "maintain my lifestyle". Amazing isn't it? This reminds me of his mindset during the D process. Me Me Me. I I I.
My State doesn't require a parent to help pay for college and X will take me to court to prevent himself from doing so. After all, he has the money! This is one of those times where I do not believe it's in my best interest to fight. I certainly can pay for Jake's right now because he's in a bridge program and is living at home. But it's really strange because XH picked out Jack's college and he (Jack) does not want to go there. It's a very expensive private school. X told me last night that he paid $1,800 for a laptop the school is requiring.
With the state lottery money paying part, Jake's tuition and books for the first semester don't even equal $1,800. I guess it's just hitting the cheap SOB now what it would have taken if he did pay. He's so very jealous that I've made a pretty good leap career-wise, but I was hoping to start putting away some for retirement. That's OK, I will pay for Jake to go to school and save up for when he transfers over to Carolina. I will not fight X on this. But how can he pay for one son and not the other? How can a parent do that?
Anyway, I'll never understand him and I don't want to. I did tell him last night he wasn't a man. Am glad I did, and when he started to go off, I told him I didn't wish to talk to him any longer. I've gone over it a few times in my head today and I KNOW what this is all about. X would not stop bringing up his retirement. He's getting close and he does not want me to have my share (which, by the way, he kept referring to as his last night). He said it too many times for me to think there is any other motive.
It's blackmail. I will not allow him to do that to me.
Geez, getting my X to pay for ANYTHING is like squeezing blood out of a turnip - if you've ever heard that expression.
Thanks again all of you for your responses. It helps so much during these times because we can talk to one another and not say things we'll regret to our kids.
Bethie, I don't know if I can tell Jake the whole story. His heart's already been broken before and I don't think now is the time to do it to him again, regardless of the fair thing.
