I really don't feel good right now about my M, my W, or myself. How I feel about my W and what those feelings do to me are not good at all. What she did, how she did it and her consistent self sabotage are frustrating me. My tolerence for her actions are near zero. Her business is struggling as is her housework because she thinks she wants to become a beauty queen. Yes, it is pageant season for her. I have dated pageant contestants and models before and learned just how far away I want to be away from that. It doesn't sound like normal male thought process does it? Low self-esteem, needed, internally unhappy people are not something I want to deal with ever again. However, I find myself married to one.
When I get resentful all she ever has to say is that it is my problem. Everytime. She never is understanding of how I feel and how her deep and complex deceit has made trust a real challenge for me. It is my problem and that is it. It is not only the past, it is also her ongoing laziness and lack of focus on her business that make me resentful. I bust tail in everything I do just because and I have gotten frustrated when I feel like I am carrying the "group". I am keeping score with my W and that is no good. I don't know how to change how I feel about that. Any help would be great.
