Is there a glimmer of hope for I'mstillhopeful ?

[I'mstillhopeful]

ISH, I have been reading your thread and I want to applaud you for your efforts. In saying that, let me alert you to a few things. First, whatever you do will probably not have much of an impact on the overall situation. I don't mean for that to sound negative to you, its just how it is.

Braveheart I think you are absolutely correct. When I look at the whole thing objectively I realize that there is really very little chance for our M. He has said that we had many great times. We had very few bad times he just started to drift away and, a predatory married woman was able to make a favorable impression on him and he believes he has found his soul mate. Once he has told enough people that we have decided to separate it is unlikely that he will change his direction. I don't know how far back you read on my thread, but when I was younger and more beautiful he left to pursue his next degree. He completely turned his back on a 2 year live-in relationship.

because you are probably going to discover that he will end up in a MAJOR mess before this is all said and done.

Yes, and sadly, should he return at some time in the future, a broken man, in need of shelter I would take him in and care of him even if there was no hope for a relationship. He has been my friend and partner for most of my adult life.

Sad thing about it is, unless your H is a remarkable man, he will not admit his past mistakes during all of this... Its sad but true, hang around here for awhile and you will see that.

Yes, that is reality. I obtain great solace from the advice people give me about my situation and my DB coach is great. However, it is a little depressing reading some of the threads where people are at first optimistic and then begin to gradually come to terms with the fact that WAS go beyond the point of no return.

I am an optimist and I am a realist. My H has flaws. I have come to accept them over the years. He is a narcissist, he likes to think of himself as "the good guy". He obtains that type of affirmation all day long in his work as his patients/supervisees tell him how wonderful he is. The OW advised him to be "honest but kind" when dealing with me. She had written to him that I would "be a fool to not fight for him". Maybe that is what I am doing.

Each little bit of positive interaction with him feels like a victory. At one point he did say he still "has feelings for me". Clever don't you think? That could mean anything.

Last week I agreed to leave some of his mail in his car while he was seeing patients at an office in our town. He had left a note wishing me a nice day and advising me to drink plenty of water due to the heat.

I had a rather distinctive canvas purse custom made several years ago. He had replaced it once or twice over the years. When we had dinner he offered to take my old one which is now worn out to have another one made.

Objectively, my only success will be forging a life for myself although I will continue to stand for my marriage until the very end. I appreciate it that you have followed my thread. Should a miracle occur I would like to be one of those who is here to offer hope that sometimes, against all odds...

Well, I just won't go there right now.