Hi..our kids knew something was not right...if you find my thread you will read there was a ff/coworker...h was drawn in by someone who is an alcholic..dependent, weak, likes men, any man..anyways I all along did not think he would ever cheat on me..and he assured me nothing was going on...but she called at all hours drunk usually...she sep from her h, and guess who helped her move..guess who she called to fix things..so while there was no a..there was something that was sep h and I...I look back now and believe my h is having a hard time with the fact that I did not trust him, but the signs were there. When h got apartment I kept telling him he had to tell the kids, and not the day before he moves...he did and cried his eyes out explaining what he needed for himslef.. our d20 sat there with tears streaming and our s23 said nothing..after he left for a drive..I told the kids that I had thought that maybe there was something with ff..whom they know as I had her here to try to understand her..but I said that I finally understood that their dad was just trying to help her in someway..he also told the kids that he needed space..that he feels like he has lost himself over the years..that it did not neccesary mean d...so kids are doing ok..h and I have never fought..so they have not seen and heard any of that..they see me becoming stronger and can't help but see thier dad more relaxed and back to his old self. I think kids know far more than we think..and I was terribly worried about h leaving and the affect..younger kids must have a more dificult time, but any kids don't want to see their parents split.Be sure and not bad mouth him in front of them. I have also had to deal with rumors from friends and family menbers...seems people saw my h and ff out..and I know they went out as they are partners on bowling team, they work togehter and after meetings they went out..it was nothing he kept from me...but people assumed things and started talking...my d and I ralked about it one night and she said "don't worry about what others say..if you and Dad know the truth that's all that matters"...I have also said to her that I wish he would give me some kind of clue or answer as to what he might wan to do..again she said"Mom..let him have his space..when he figures outwhat he wants he will probably tell you!'" Kids!!!!!!theya re so wise beyond their years.
So in a nutshell..keep yourself strong...you will be ok what ever way your m ends up.
