M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
HI EVERYONE!!! IT WENT VERY WELL!!! thanks for all checking on me
we hiked for along time, then he asked me to dinner, then he made an excuse that he had to get something from our house (he hasn't been here in 2 months) so i said you can get it now...he came over and we went in the HOT TUB for and hour or so and he really opened up.
a lot about how angry he was at me and then realized it wasn't me- it is him he has to change. a lot about other couples and what he sees that he thought was "greener" but its not...a lot of talking from him- amazing!
he commented a lot on how great i look...he said 10 yrs younger- wow
i told him how much i appreciate him opening up to me , validated, listened and when he said he was angry at me before for even the way i opened up the fridge- i listened then said "thanks for saying that, i did feel that from you"...
i said no matter what- our old R is done and we need to divorce it...he said Yes, no matter what.
he brought up all R talk..on our hike it was a lot of talk about him, a lot of jokes and laughter...a lot of flirting...
then when he was leaving he said as temptimg as it is to stay .... he said casual sex ha ha ha- and then he said i dont want casual sex with you- i said i agree...
i think it was very respectful- that is his nature- but he also said at what point do you become a born again virgin- and we laughed! he also grabbed my stomach- and there is really nothing to grab and he said our dog got a little pudgy so she must have taken my butt and put it on her ... so lot of jokes (my dog is not fat!)
so overall it went well- he said its gotten harder for him- i said the beginning was very hard for me but its gotten better and i really like what im learning about myself...he said he still is figuring things out- but nothing abut D or anything like that.
i could go on and on but .... thats all folks!
so tell me your thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for all your love and support!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
That's awesome Pisces! You did so well, he reacted so well. Of course, I am sooooo jealous, but so incredibly happy for you. Keep it up!
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a lot about how angry he was at me and then realized it wasn't me- it is him he has to change. a lot about other couples and what he sees that he thought was "greener" but its not...he said its gotten harder for him- i said the beginning was very hard for me but its gotten better and i really like what im learning about myself
I think these are the best signs of all--seems as though he's starting to pedal a little bit on the tandem bike.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Wow, that is all really great, it sounds like he opened up to you so much and feels safe enough with you to do that. That is one giant leap, keep it up, keep building on it.
thanks you guys!!!!!!!!!! i do feel that too- and of course i am trying not to get too excited and then i get scared that it will go away...but thats just fear.... i do think i created a safe place for him....i will keep it up...i promise to myself...the results are mind blowing.
i like the tandem bike idea...how cute .... im really happy
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Pisces, that is wonderful. It sounds like it went picture perfect. Oh, & at my house, we call it "hot tub therapy".
Go ahead & feel excited. It's a good feeling. Just know that there's a flip side to excited, & it's okay too, just not as much fun. okay ?
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
