LL, you are really there for us....thanks so much. This morning H pressed me on why I was distant...H was heading into the city to meet an out-of-town "friend" for lunch. I went into the OW mentality...and tried to keep it in. He said just talk to me, we can't continue to build up resentment. I then finally said....why don't you tell me the name of the person you are seeing, why do you keep things from me? He sighed, and said....don't smother me. I wished I hadn't said anything. I said I was trying to understand him better...but at times he still confuses me. He got over it, and told me to stop playing head games. I said I'd keep trying. He was only gone a short while...I took a long walk...prayed a bit...and cooled off. When he got home we spent the afternoon together....hit golf balls and watched a movie. H plans to spend most of Sunday with me.. I've got to just keep patient and keep dbing. Tricky...my D asked where he went today....I covered, but she reads through stuff. She doesn't necessarily trust his whereabouts either. It's wierd, that's when I feel my role-modeling as a spouse kind of sucks. I feel she looks at me and is thinking...Mom is way too tolerant of him. It makes me feel weak around her. I want so badly for both my kids to grow into adults that can find happiness in their own R and not mis-trust everyone. I keep praying that they and we are guided in a positive, forward direction. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. You are great. And I see where you are helping so many other newcomers that are joining in on the journey. Feeling better now. Mooka
