Bring on the Rain - Part 3

[SueS]

I received a call from OW's H today. Boy can he talk. It was for about an hr. & 1/2. Yes, as we both knew full well, the R between she and my H is still ongoing.

However........................

-OW appears to have NO plans, no place to move to yet, nothing in the works. She emailed her H about a week ago and said....Well, I guess you're probably wondering now that June has come and gone, what my plans are. He did not respond and she did not elaborate further.

-OW came home last Thursday night in tears, snuggled up to her H and let him wipe her tears and hold her.

-OW called her H last week and asked him to make some plans for them to go somewhere with the kids. Her H planned a weekend trip for them. They left Friday and came back on Sun. My H....very angry all weekend.

-OW has told her H that she does see good changes in him and he appears to be softening in her eyes, but she's scared that the changes won't stay.

-OW told her H that she loves him, but doesn't know if she can REALLY love him again.

-OW suggested about 6 weeks ago that the children's schools be changed. (Same time I saw emailed links for rentals in another area of the city). OW's H refused to let that happen, also telling OW that he refuses to let his children live with another man and be taken out of the comfort of the life they've known. He suggested that if OW did want to leave, that she get a small apartment on her own and have the kids over to visit....give it some time to see what she really wants. He seems to have put a bug in her ear!

-OW's oldest daughter (13) has become very angry, bitter about the situation. She's understanding that it's no longer just about mom & dad having issues, but about mom also having a boyfriend. She's commented to her dad that if mom wants to leave, mom needs to buy her own new things to set up a new place. Their 11-yr old son is also starting to grasp what is going on.

The other things that he talked about really went hand in hand with my H's comings, goings and roller coaster moods. My H seems very, very threatened when OW does anything that includes her H. I mentioned H not being home at 2:00 and he said....Yep Sue, OW didn't get home until 3:00. He still struggles with (as I do sometimes) the details of things....where they are, what they're doing....etc. OW's H said that he understands why I have to move forward. I admitted that if I didn't HAVE TO be out of my place soon that I would probably be in a different frame of mind. He also said...Sue, you're doing it all the right way. He told me that he thinks I'm handling it very well and that I'm strong.

We both agreed that it seems that fantasyland isn't looking like as great of a place to live as OW and my H thought it would be. I told OW's H that although the split between my H and I may allow them to be together more often, that I don't see it lasting. I worried about that for a while, but I just don't see it working out.

OKAY............That's what I'd written just a short while ago and was ready to send when my phone rang. It was my H.

-H has no idea what he's doing, where he's going at the end of our lease. He said he truly wishes he could get an apartment on his own but he doesn't feel he can afford that right now. I pushed H on what HIS plans were and where he was going to live come Aug. 1st......has no clue.

-H's next court date for his DUI is Aug. 7th and his attorney is not optimistic about the outcome because H was twice the legal BAC limit.

-H wants to help me move if I can get my move changed to next weekend instead of the 1st weekend of Aug.

-H (as I predicted) is considering moving back to IN by his family. He wants to see what his brother is doing (SIL is seeking a divorce). There is a branch office of his company that is not far from his dad's.

-H would not answer a question about OW and was surprised that I asked "What about your other relationship"? Told him I was not concerned one bit about OW, just wanted to know where that stood.

-H asked me if I was going to move home to SD. Told him no. He was surprised but I told him that I like it here. I like my job and even though my family would enjoy it and I'd get more support for D4, I am not ready to move there. With his possible thoughts of moving back to IN, it would hurt D4 even more to be that much further away from him.

H had to go and told me he'd talk to me later.

And so the confusion starts again. Is H trying to use me until things are set here?

SueS