I'm just going to throw something else out there ...
I don't think this is all "Bad H. Bad, bad H."
He clearly feels threatened and is trying but doesn't see how to make it to the other side. He probably feels like he comes under attack even though he's doing the best he can, which results in defensiveness and posturing.
He knows he's letting you slip away and he doesn't see how to hold on. He doesn't understand he needs to attract rather than pull.
Not saying this makes everything okay. Just something that probably should be acknowledged.
Hmmm - seems like this post is ripe for dog analogies.
