Believe me I do take my responsibility for my actions to the demise of my marriage. Its just hard to get past her giving her heart, her mind, her soul, and her body to another. Saying it was a mistake and knowingly doing it again.
I understand that she had a lot of fear that I wouldnt take her back when the truth came out, fueling our problems. She told herself that she didnt love so much that she actually believed it after a while. It was eaisier to say she didnt love me and to push me away then to address what she did. And honestly if it wasnt for the time I have had to DB I dont think I could have taken her back, when she cheated on me. The affair was about 4 months ago. It never happened again, but it didnt stop her from dating other men. Searching for a reason not to come back to me. I do love her.... Its just hard to look at her right now. I am so discusted with her actions. The alien really took control of her. She is really trying to prove to me that she will never stray again. She deleted all her contacts in her messengers. Then set it to auto log on so that I have the ability to check up on her and her emails. I do see her trying, its just maybe I need to take a break and let her save our marriage for a while.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
